White Rose

Chapter 20

(Don't do drugs guys. This is only a story.)

The pill party is wild.

I feel like I'm on a cloud.

Everything is hazy and everything is fun.

I can't seem to stop laughing and falling all over the place. Zayn is so funny.

Zayn.

Oh my god... Zayn.

He is absolutely perfect.

I don't know how I never realized it.

I'm totally going to try and hook up with him. It will for sure take my mind off of Louis. I know that might be bad, but I want to hook up with him and by the way, his hand is grasping onto my thigh as we sit on a sofa, so I think he'd agree.

So, I turned to him.

"F-follow me to the-" I then hiccuped. "-bathroom?"

Zayn nodded, took my hand, and we walked to the bathroom upstairs since the one on the first floor had someone in it.

Once up there and the door was locked, Zayn turned to me and drunkenly said, "Why are w-we here?"

"I wanna fuck you." I said boldly.

I think the drugs and beer really helped me out with my bravery.

"Woe." Zayn laughed. "You wanna fuck me?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

He nodded, slowly pushed me up again the wall, and then he kissed me.

I felt his beard tickle my chin just right and I thought I was going to cry.

I needed this. Sex really changes a person. Once you have it, you crave it. I had been craving it since I had Louis. I really needed to be touched and I was so glad Zayn was touching me like this.

As he kissed me, his right hand was going into my boxers. I could feel his skin lightly rubbing mine and I moaned from the contact.

"Can I just go ahead with it?" Zayn asked as he kissed me. "I can't butter you up right now."

"Go ahead."

Zayn then stopped kissing me, pulled his pants and boxers off, sat on the closed toilet, and patted his thighs.

I got the hint, took off my pants, and sat right down onto him.

"Uh!" I moaned out and tilted my head back.

"God, you feel so good." Zayn whispered and I leaned down to kiss him, but his lips attached themselves to my neck and he started to give me a hickey.

Everything was happening so fast and from the drugs and alcohol, everything felt good but times ten. I was really on cloud nine and I couldn't be happier.

Drugs are actually really fun.

I think I might do this again. Like I really think I might. Drugs got me laid. Drugs made me laugh. Drugs made me smile. I don't see what the big problem with them is. Like I really don't. More people should do it.

Louis was so right.

Louis let me really understand what he was talking about with tonight.

I need to be more free and partying, drinking, drugs, sex, and cursing are apart of being free and having a good time. I've never felt as free as I do right now, high and drunk fucking Zayn on a toilet seat.

I feel free.

I really do.

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I'm getting real sad since no one has read my new book on my new account rainbowships but please like and comment on this chapter ~Ash