When the Lights Go Down

(XX) Here

    Besides a private chat with the editor of Vogue, Lula didn't speak to any press at her show. Neither did I. But the secret was out. She almost opted not to walk the runway at the end of her show, but it was a tradition, and I egged her on to do so. I was so damn happy I wanted everyone to know.

When she stood there, thanking the crowd, I stood from my seat to hand her a bouquet of red roses. And that's when the world knew that Lula Burberry was mine .

And that big belly was my doing.

Sunday/December 31, 1989/London, England

The obstetrician wanted to schedule her for a caesarean section a few weeks before the due date, but Lula and I expressed we wanted a natural birth. So we waited.

We made it to December 29th with no serious complications, just a lot of bickering, because Lula wouldn't quit sneaking off to her Burberry offices. The Paris show was at the end of January, thank God for that so she could at least be healed for it, but she was scrambling to get everything in order. But after the due date came and went, we both began to panic. The babies were still not here.

Lula was more frustrated because she had been saying she was ready to push them out since she was about seven months. They were hyper little ones, usually taking turns on sleep, so Lula hardly got any. She was still trying to hide her exhaustion with makeup, but I thought she looked more beautiful without it. The natural changes of her body amazed me, and she was an even stronger woman in my eyes.

We planned to welcome the twins in the house, but Lula's best friend didn't recommend it. I hated hospitals, and the idea of my babies being born under those bright lights rather than home wasn't comforting. But Lula fought me on it, and being the carrier, ultimately won the battle.

So now, on the early morning of December 31st, with one baby turned breech, we were on our way to the hospital to prep her for a caesarean section delivery.

Lula was terrified, because she never had surgery before. And they were only a couple days late, but she still thought something was wrong about it, though they were still moving around with their normal amount of energy.

"You'll be fine," I said, at her bedside, dressed in a blue scrub suit—hat and all. They forced me to wear it, and I didn't fight them on it. I just wanted to see my babies. "I'm right here." And I kissed her through my face mask. "Mwah, mwah, mwah," I sounded on her cheek.

"Stop, that tickles."

"Good, because they're gonna start tugging them out very soon."

"I'm so scared," she said, looking at me with frightened eyes. "What if-"

And I said it. "You'll be fine. We'll be fine. Everything is fine, baby. They're just stubborn like their daddy, that's all." It was good to hear her laugh.