Today is almost 06012014, just a few minutes away and I am having a conversation with Josh on facebook. This poor kid, he doesn't know how to grieve. He feels like he let you slip away and that you was the only one that loved him. I thought that might be why he stays away. He can't seperate you and dad, when he thinks of dad, he thinks of you and vice versa. Please momma, visit joshie in his dreams and tell him its ok, its ok to grieve and it's ok to live. We all loved you and still you so much and we each grieve in our own way and all thought the pain doesn't go fully away it doesn't ache so bad in my heart.
When you passed, I used to beg James to wake me from the bad dream and everything would be back like it was. I thought for sure I was losing my grip on reality and I think Josh feels the same way. Lay your soft hands on him momma, let him know it's ok to move on in the world and grow and grieve and let him know that he didn't let you slip away I know now it was just your time. The time for the pain to end and being able to walk without a cane. I know you are healthy and full of life and waiting on dad to join but if its all the same I need him for while longer. I love you momma every minute, every second every day.
By the way your grandson graduated he looked so handsome, bub and dad got to come up and I think dad was sad because of what you was missing. Austing is joining the Air Force and I couldn't be more proud and Aimee is going into freshman year going into ROTC I think I'll be losing her to the military to so please keep your arms around them.
As always momma I love you higher than the moon and hotter than the sun.
your babygirl
