The Door To The Beauty Of Life

grieving in pain

when the pain of life.

Broke through the innocence of childhood.
i held onto the love of a family.

when death took away this love.

I clinged to the memories.
buried myself in the fantasy of my books.
the bliss of love at first sight.
the result of struggle and success.

my world was rebuilt on the foundations of love.
of dreams and happiness.
when i felt my first love my world shook.
i held to my fantasies and saught them out in life.
when things happened i would read of in a book .
my world was filled with happiness.
but when it began to crumble.
my heart crushed to pieces.

but my hope did not shaken.
every love after that i went in with all my dreams.
as well as my heart on my sleeve.
never has it lead to more then my heart being damaged.

today i lay in pain.
i feel ever heart beat with the force of a earth quake.
i learn again that my dreams and hopes.
rise far beyond what reality can achieve.

i see the happiness that can be achieved

with me out of the way.

the love i have always wanted.
the only thing that has kept me going.
the reason i still dream.
the reason i dont loose faith in my life.

everyone around me has it.
while i drown in the loneliness that consumes me.
what purpose in the world do i play.
if i cant do the thing that i have always dreamed of.
loving someone for the rest of my life.
while i am loved

I love being in love.
Maybe ill never loose my faith.
but god does the pain shake me.
to me a lost of love.
is not like a mere loss of fun.
to me loosing love.
its like someone im attached to.
dying horribly..

the pain alone pushes me to my edge.

i shake and sob with the pain.

i feel it shoot down my spine every day.

and i grieve for the death of my love.

the promises that i had loved.
the dreams i had dreamed.

the price i paid by making myself vulnerable.
the hope i held for a forever love.

my world flipped upside down.
im grieving for what i thought i had.
and what i learned i never did.