Not My Alpha (Completed)

Chapter Forty - I Can't Let You Go

Abruptly, I let out another scream of frustration. Raven flinched back again, her already light skin paling even more. She took a hesitant step back further into the door, but I paid her no mind. Instead, I stalked towards the kitchen, pacing back and forth. I hated that I was doing it, as it reminded me too much of the same exact thing Samuel did when stressed. But, I couldn't keep still. My mind was racing, my heart was pounding, and my soul was being crushed. 

"I'm sorry," Raven told me again from across the room. "If I could help you, I would."

"What do you know about humans being bit and turned?" I suddenly questioned, turning to face her. My fingers strummed against my legs. It was the only thing keeping the panic in my chest from rising. 

"I-um," she stammered. "They, well, they don't often survive the shift."

"I know that. What else?"

Raven was at a loss. "There's not much more. They're bit, then they shift for the first time on the full moon."

"What about after? How many have survived?"

"I'm sorry, but we haven't had a human survive the shift in a while. It's just too hard on their bodies. Normally, we don't even turn the ones we keep anymore."

I leaned up against the kitchen counter, ignoring the turned over barstool at my feet. Another scowl was etched onto my features, but this one was laced with more than anger. I was terrified. Terrified of what was happening just beyond the walls of the apartment. Will was out there, and he was probably going to die. Not only that, but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. 

"What is the shift like?" I questioned, my feet tapping incessantly in time with my fingers. 

"I'm not sure you want to know," she trailed off.

My jaw tightened and I ground out, "What is the shift like?" 

I looked up for a moment, catching Raven's expression. She looked almost as terrified as I felt. 

"Painful, mostly. I've heard it's worse for humans. If you're born a wolf, then you've already got it in your system. When a human's bit, their entire being changes. The hardest part is not letting the new body kill the old."

I stilled, my body tensing even more. Every word that left this woman's mouth was another reason I needed to be there to help Will. Not only that, but this could be the only chance I had to see him alive. Now, Samuel and Riley would be the last faces he would ever see.

Silence fell between us for a short minute, and the entire time Raven stood in front of the door, unmoving. I refused to look at her, but I knew she was doing nothing but studying me. The air was tense, and I knew if I opened my mouth I would be screaming. The reality of the situation was hitting me, and it was all I could do to stay calm. 

On the one hand, I could attempt to get around Raven. There were multiple things I could do. I was already in the kitchen, and I knew where we housed the knives. It wouldn't be easy, but I could do it. I was sure of it. And, I'd get to see Will, even if it was for the last time. 

But, on the other hand, if I managed to escape, Raven would probably be dead in the morning. Riley didn't keep light on this threats. Every word he spoke of them was completely true. If I fought against this woman, I'd be sealing her fate. 

Raven let out a small and shaky breath, her timid voice cutting into my inner turmoil. "Is that what's happening to your brother?"

Confusion swam through my mind and leaked into my scowl. "Did they not tell you?"

She shook her head. "No."

"But you still came here?"

"Of course."