A Fangirl in Love

No Promises

 

We had dinner sa Steaks & Wine sa BGC. May reservation siya kaya hindi kami na namin kailangan maghintay.

 

Kung tahimik kami sa kotse, ibang iba kami sa resto. Parang nai-break in kami ng husto. Ang dami na naman naming napagusapan. Isa na ditto si Berna,s na gusto na daw talagang papuntahin ng mother niya sa Italy. Ibebenta na daw ang bahay sa Novaliches dahil ikakasal na ang tita nila sa Swiss boyfriend neto. Kaya nagtart nang magworry ang nanay ni Berna. Natatakot daw to na baka sa ABSCBN na daw ito tumira, bilang alam na alam niya ang pagiging fan ni Berna. 

 

Sobrang saya ng usapan naming dalawa, na nakalimutan namin saglit na may mga mas importanteng bagay pa kaming dapat pagusapan. 

 

Halatang namiss namin ang isa’t isa. May mga moments na nagkakatinginan lang kami – sandali man o matagal – parang we were trying to memorize each other’s faces. And after each and every time, sabay kaming yuyuko, ngingiti muna hanggang matawa, pagkatapos ay makakaisip ng isa pang kwento.

 

We were obviously flirting. So ganito yun? I tried to avoid him for 2 days just to end up doing the same thing with him.

 

After dinner, lumipat kami sa adjacent bar sa resto na nasa isang structure lang din. May iilang small tables sa loob pero lahat occupied, kaya don muna kami sa bar. Kwentuhan lang. About sa work ko, sa work niya sa Italy. 

  

Hindi ko alam if it was a conscious effort on his part not to mention his girlfriend or Hannah. Pero mas gusto ko na ganon lang. I didn’t want to spoil whatever was happening. So na-aappreciate ko na wala siyang nababanggit about them. Although alam ko naman na imposible na hindi ma-touch ang topic na yun. Imposible.

 

Tumayo siya at lumapit where I was seated, his right hand with a scotch and his left on the back of my chair.

 

“Why were you avoiding me?” Bulong niya sa akin. Walang panunumbat, pero punong puno ng kalandian. Actually, bulong pa ba yung matatawag kung naramdaman ko yung lips niya sa ear ko sa bawat syllable na sinabi niya?

 

“Was I?” sagot ko habang napakalapit na ng mukha niya sa akin. He smiled and pulled his chair near me.

 

Pakiradam ko tuloy nasa jeep lang kami, yung siyaman lang dapat na jeep pero labingdalawa ang sinakay ni manong driver? Ang sikip. Feeling ko may scarcity ng space sa mga panahon na yun. 

 

He put his arm around my chair, and whispered.

 

“I didn't like the feeling.” He said in his most teasing voice, probably. Pagkatapos bumulong, sa mukha ko naman titingin. Ang lapit. 

 

“Anong feeling?” Patay malisya kong sagot while I couldn’t move my face because I knew if I did I would brush off mine with his.

 

I knew na hindi siya comfortable non, like he wanted to say something but didn't know how. So he changed the topic.

Nakawrap ang left arm niya sa likod ko, we stayed that way for at least an hour or so while drinking, and jumping from one topic to another. He'd occasionally hold my hand, tap my leg, or pull me closer. And I didn't complain. I didn't stop him. I let him do all those.