Into the Fire

Morte et Dabo

A few days now has passed since Ben and I got back from Toronto. I still feel like absolute shit because Ben won't leave what happened go, and maybe I don't want to let it go.

He won't stop trying to talk to me, he won't stop kissing me.. I always give in to the kiss. Fuck all I want is for him and I to get passed this, I want things to be back to the way they were. But I can't let that happen.

I finish up dinner with my parents and begin to help clean up.

"It's nice to see you doing better," My dad says.

"Yeah," I'm not doing better, I just got better at hiding it.

"Do you want to explain to your mom and I what happened?" He raises a brow.

I sigh and sit down in a seat at the kitchen island.

"Ben did something that really hurt me," I hesitate to say.

My dad crosses his arms.

"What did he do? He didn't lay his hands on you did he?"

"No! Of course not.. He just.. He had sex with another girl," I explain.

"Oh honey.." My mom kneels down to me. "I'm sorry to hear that, I like Ben but.. How could he do that to you?"

"I don't know.. I don't want to talk about it," I tell her.

"Alright, if you ever need to talk about it you know your father and I are here to listen,"

I kiss her cheek and nod my head.

"The next time I see that boy I swear-"

"You aren't going to do anything dad, I love Ben I really do, so I don't need you to fight my fights" I cut my dad off.

"Alright sweetie, but if you would like at some point I will tear him a new one," My dad kisses my forehead.

"Thank you dad," I kind of chuckle.

I walk up stairs, I open up my bedroom door to see him in my room.

"Ben?" I say.

He stands up from my bed and looks at me.

"R-Roni I'm sorry for coming over randomly but-"

"What do you want Ben," I kind of give him attitude. He needs to stop coming around if we're ever going to move on.  

Ben holds a box of chocolates and flowers in his hands.

"I just wanted to give you these," He holds them out.

I look him in the eyes, and hesitantly take them.

"Thanks.. I guess," I place them on my dresser.

I look down and just don't say anything else.

"Look Veronica I know there is nothing that I could humanly do to even begin to try to make this right, but fuck, I miss you, I miss us, I want things to go back to the way they were," Ben walks up to me, cupping my face.

I place my hands on his wrists, grazing my thumb over the back of his hands.

"Trust me Ben I want that too.." I tell him softly.

"Then can't they? if we work together to fix things, we can get through this together,"

"Ben.. You know I can't do that," I tell him, tearing up.

"But why, you said you want things like they were before, I want that too, if we truly do want it, we can make it work," Ben stares into my eyes.

"I don't trust you," My voice cracks, as tears flood from my eyes.