Save Me (Zacky Vengeance)

The Truth

I was due for tests today and I really didn't want to go. Zacky knocked on my door and telling me to get ready. I wasn't fully awake, so it felt as if it was said in a dream, distant and unaudible.

He once again knocked on my door and told me to hurry up. I definitely wasn't dreaming. I groaned and rolled out of bed. I dressed in skinny jeans and a FFDP t-shirt. I left my hair wavy, and put mascara on and brushed my teeth and left my room.

"You take you're time, don't you?" Lorena said as I was in the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and was going to answer back but Zacky gave me a look not to.

I only rolled my eyes again and sat in a seat. "When are we leaving?" I asked, I wanted to get it over and done with, but at the same time I didn't want to do it at all.

We ended up leaving 5 minutes after I had asked, and I sat in the back with my legs up to my chest.

"Get you're seatbelt on Ashley!" She moaned at me.

"I already have it on!" I snapped. I was feeling cranky but also as if I was floating on a cloud. I was untouchable but I knew I was just kidding myself.

So many emotions were floating around and confusing me. I couldn't keep up with any of it, so I dozed off to forget about it or a while.

I was shaken awake by Zacky and I had to throw myself out of the car. I didn't want to move, I felt dead.

"Let's get you tested then" Zacky said as we were called over by a man, who I assumed would be testing me.

I kind of felt like I was the outcast of the family. If I do have some disorder, then I wouldn't know how to feel really. I knew my step dad and teachers in my old school had their suspicions but never really thought of it.

I guess I've always kind of been a problem my whole life, rather than when it went down hill from losing my mom and sister.

We were here for a couple hours to do the interviews with Zacky and one with just me and the specialist guy. I had to do some exam sort of thing. They had to go through my emotions with me, my family history and they also had to ask Zacky about it too, and I'm sure they asked Lorena.

To get the results back, I was scared. I sat opposite Zacky and Lorena and stared into space, not really paying any attention to anything around me.

I didn't want to, and I couldn't. I was most likely going to ruin this family because of the results we were going to receive about me. I would be too much for people to handle or keep up.

Time pasted by very slowly and the specialist guy came out and went over the results. I wasn't ready to hear exactly what it was, but I never expected them to be true.

"You have been diagnosed with ADHD" was his words and I knew Zacky felt somewhat sad or angered that he has a child with ADHD. That thought made me cringe, I knew I'd never be the child anybody wanted.

After leaving and heading home, I ignored any sort of conversation being made, I simply stared out the window. I wanted to go home and sleep and never wake up.

That's sort of what I did once we arrived, I kind of faded in the background and went to my room and crawled into a ball in my bed. But after Zacky getting the news, he would want to talk to me, I felt almost scared to talk to him about it or anything in general.

I've always had a sort of anxiety to do such a thing, it was always out of my comfort zone. I tried to fall asleep but nothing would work. Just knowing the fact that I have something wrong with me it won't leave my mind. It's nagging at me and I produced a headache from other thinking about it.

I gave up trying to sleep, so I simply stared at the wall. I wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. I heard a sort of distant knock on my door and whoever it was came in and sat on the end of my bed.

"Hey.." it was Zacky.

I couldn't look at him, I wouldn't. I was a problem child, and he obviously would be ashamed of it, and I am too.

I wish I could sink into my bed and sort of melt away into my sheets and disappear. Disappearing seemed like the best thing to do.

"I want you to know that I am not ashamed of having a kid with ADHD. If anything, I love you more"

I didn't acknowledge what he said, it felt sort of distant and cloudy. My eyes were dropping and I felt kind of nauseous but my tiredness of today's events made me fall asleep. With the words of 'I love you more' in Zacky's voice repeating in my head.