twenty-eight | luxury

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—December 6th

The last three weeks had been strange ones for Luke. Riley had begun to visit him every Monday. And of course he was overjoyed by the fact that she wanted to see him, but he was also worried by the distance she put between them. 

The first time she came, he felt that she wasn't fully there. Their conversation was full of her apologizing and him forgiving, it was an empty conversation that he was not sure she was truly sincere about. But he still forgave her nonetheless. Luke would've forgiven her for anything.

The second time she came, was no better than the first. Whenever he asked her a question, she would answer with a simple one word response. He got the feeling that she didn't feel comfortable around him, and that saddened Luke, because he never wanted her to feel that way around him. 

Yesterday however, the third time she had visited, was much different than the times before. All of a sudden she seemed so desperate for him. And this heavily pleased Luke, but also confused him. Why the sudden change? What happened to make her feel this way? Because unlike before, Riley had begun to hold long conversations with him, conversations full of laughs and endearment. Conversations he wished could last forever. 

But in the back of Luke's head, he knew something was off. He did not want to admit it, but something about her was different. Whenever he squeezed her hand, she would squeeze back harder without hesitation. Riley never did that before. Before, she would've hesitated to squeeze back, because even though they had been together for so long, she never really liked physical affection. She thought that emotions and words were enough, that there was no need for intimacy. Luke disagreed with her view on physical affection, but he still listened to her request anyways. The only thing he asked for, was to let him hold her hand. Something that she used to do  with uncertainty.

However, now she appeared to have changed her mind, as she would voluntarily hold his hand and intertwine her fingers with his. Luke liked this change. He enjoyed her warmth and touch, he just hoped that she was doing this out of love and not pity.  

She had also been telling him about how the boys were doing. Calum's shop was doing well, Ashton had stopped drinking, and Michael had a wonderful birthday. Luke wished he could've been there for Michael's birthday. He assumed that the newly turned 21 year old had celebrated by hosting a party of maybe going to a club.

He liked to tell her about the things he had done that day. How the nice nurse with the loud heels would bring him his meals and how she would take him on walks around the hospital when he was feeling particularly well. Luke had begun to come to terms with his loss of sight. He was starting to ease into the idea of never being able to see his friends and family again. He didn't want to, he still hoped that they would find a solution for him, but he had started to accept it.

His only fear was forgetting what his loved ones looked like. When Riley visited he would always want to ask to touch her face, to trace her lips and brows with his thumb and to run his large hands across her cheeks. But knowing that she wouldn't like it, he didn't ask. 

Holding her hand was enough for him. Everyone around him assumed that him and Riley had dated long enough that they had moved further in their relationship. But in all honesty, they had only kissed maybe five times.

Not even the guys knew the specifics of his relationship with Riley. They didn't know that she would sometimes flinch away from his touch and scoot her chair away when their legs came in contact. But he still loved her. The possibility of loving anyone else was absurd to him. He didn't believe in soulmates. He had always considered the chance of her leaving him. Because to him, Riley was not his destiny, but a luxury.

She was an indulgence, a pleasure, that he was lucky enough to afford. And thinking like that made him treasure her more. He didn't want to do her wrong, he never wanted to displease her. Because keeping Riley happy was a duty that he had promised himself to do forever. No matter how well he could or couldn't see; no matter how far away she was from him, Luke hoped that he could always continue doing his duty. 

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a/n: sorry that this chapter is a little shorter than usual

have a great day

xx

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