I'm Trying: Evan Hansen X Reader

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Y/N L/N never truly knew what dread was, until the first bell finally rung as she was lost in thought while resting against the wall. She slowly approached her first classroom, trying to mask her fear with bravery.

"Just go in, try to listen, and rush to Jazz. All the while, don't even look Evan in the eye."  She nodded to herself, and walked into the room with no hesitation after that; though, a weight fell off her shoulders when Evan wasn't in his chair. The girl sat in the back of the room by herself for four minutes, then Evan rushed in as he only had about forty seconds to spare.

His eyes made it to the back of the room, and to Y/N, who stared down at the ground. Swallowing, he calmly treaded to her, then leaned down next to her desk.

"Y/N," He spoke quietly.

The girl shook her head, her eyes not leaving the floor. The boy peeked at her watch; class would start in only a few seconds. He sighed. "I'll talk to you soon?"

She didn't move a muscle. Evan nodded slightly, and sat at the desk right next to her as Mr. Seabury's nasally voice filled the classroom, as he went on and on about finals the next month. 

Almost like it had just started, the next bell caught the girl off guard. When she finally heard the bell, she immediately grabbed her backpack and books, then rushed out of the classroom; already hearing Evan's quick footsteps behind her.

"Y/N, Y/N wait!" He called out to her as she kept her eyes forward, and continued walking at a brisk pace. 

A gentle touch on her arm caused Y/N to stop in her tracks. She moved her hair in front of the cut on the side of her head, and slowly turned around. "What do you want?"

"I-I just wanted to say tha-that I'm sorry." He tried his best not to rush. "I-I don't know what I was thinking, shout-shouting at you like that."

"How did Alana even get your note? And everything you wrote about yourself in it, why didn't you tell me?" She begged.

His breathing shook. "I-I don't know. I just don't know anything right now! I-I panicked, I sent it to Alana because she was beginning to figure everything out."

"You know something Evan? If you just told me everything that you said in the letter, maybe none of this would have happened." She said before catching herself.

There was no anger on his face, only desperation. "Y/N, I-I'm sorry, okay? I-I was a jerk, and-and I never should have-."

"Kiss me, I know, Evan." She covered her mouth as a sob almost escaped.

He stared at her, almost like a frightened child. "No, I-."

"Just please, leave me alone." She finished, a few tears subconsciously trickling down her cheeks. With no other glance, Y/N turned on her heel, and tried to hold herself high as she walked away from the boy.

Before going into the band room, she hid in the bathroom with what little time she had left, and cleaned herself up while also preparing herself for no more tears for the rest of the day. With only two more minutes left, she marched into the band room, and to the piano. 

As she was setting up, sharp footsteps reached her ear, and a small smile broke on her face when she looked up.

"Well, if it isn't Vera the skank." She joked, causing Veronica to chuckle.

"The one and only." She smirked, then sat on the bench with Y/N. "So, I heard a little someone got a solo in a song that there weren't even auditions for. I wonder who it is?" 

It almost felt wrong that Y/N smiled. "Yeah, I wonder." 

Veronica nodded, then her grin fell, a serious look growing. "Okay, first things first, I ditched The Heathers. I know, I'm sorry that it took so long for me to do."