Tendril | Kylo Ren x Reader

xxvii. i can help you

Forcing yourself out of your head, taking in a deep breath as you rubbed your face, you tried convincing yourself it was just a hallucination... You were hearing things. Nothing more than that. You were still worked up about the whole situation and your mind was playing tricks on you.

Nodding your head, going with that as you let out a heavy exhale, you felt a tug in the Force. It was Kylo. You knew...

"What is the truth and why were you hiding it?" Lifting your head and seeing Kylo stand before you, although not physically, you swallowed your apprehension. "Who are you really?" He spoke, tightening his jaw.

Sucking in a breath, you straightened your back. "I rather we speak face to face."

"So do I." At that, you heard your door open, your head snapping over as Kylo stood at the doorway

Standing from your spot, you eyed him. You were caught off guard, unsure as to how he even found you. Had he known all along?

"I found you through the Force." He said, his voice ringing in your ears. His real voice. At least, from a physical form now. Not a... projection. "Your walls are falling apart. They were once so high that I couldn't even sense if you were telling the truth or not whenever we spoke. But, now... Now, they're breaking. And a hole is being made within them." Kylo pointed out. "Why is that... Why were they so high?"

Looking down for a moment, your shoulders dropped. "I had to keep Snoke out some way. I had to keep everyone out. You couldn't find the truth and he... He couldn't turn me. That's the only reason why the darkness hasn't consumed me. Snoke couldn't know I wasn't going to actually join him. He was manipulating me as I manipulated him." You truthfully answered, eyes low as Kylo kept his on you, looking down at your face. "I had to lie to you..."

"For how long?" Kylo asked, voice lower than you expected it to be. You thought he'd be raging at this point.

"Not too long... Not enough where I could forget how many days." You said. "Or, weeks."

"What happened?" He cut to the chase, not wanting to curve around or wait any longer. He had to know everything.

Taking in a deep breath, you lifted your head and looked him in the eyes. "Snoke had been reaching out to me for a while... Speaking to me, telling me things. I-I don't know, but I just knew that I'd have to take things he said with a grain of salt. Of course I did, I didn't know this man or this haunting voice." You stuttered. "He contacted me multiple times and then, finally, I answered his call. I searched for him. I found him. But I had no intentions on turning. Or... finding a spot with him in the universe. I'm still unsure as to where I even stand..."

Looking you in the eye, searching them, he knew you were telling the truth. You felt no need to lie to him. Not when you two were finally face to face. But, he sensed you were holding back. "That's not all... There's more. I know it."

Swallowing as you shifted your eyes away, holding back, afraid to tell him the whole story... The entirety of how you came to that very point, he took a step closer, close enough where you could feel his breathing against you. Close enough where the door of your quarters shut and no longer left the two of you exposed.

"Don't make me use the Force on you to pull it out." He nearly growled as you gulped, not wanting that either. After gaining his respect... or, at least you had believed you did, you didn't want that to be severed. "Did you lie about everything you told me?" Kylo raised his voice. "Did you lie to me about being abused?!" Shaking your head, biting your bottom lip as your eyes instantly pooled with tears, you looked down, ashamed. For some reason, you felt so vulnerable around Kylo... That you couldn't hold your emotions back from him. That you couldn't hide your feelings like you so easily had with nearly everyone else.

"No..." Your voice cracked, the heat that moved up to Kylo's face suddenly dispersing, leaving him standing there with a hint of regret.

A small step was taken back from him as he continued to eye you. "Then, what are you hiding?"

"I was always on the run, like I had told you." You began, lifting your eyes to meet his once again. "For years, I was on my own. Traveling from planet to planet, trying to find a place I could live on. But, I never could. Nowhere seemed safe for me. Nowhere seemed right." You sighed. "So, I took jobs, I did what I knew how to do best. I smuggled, I stole, I did whatever I could to keep myself alive for as long as I could. And... in order to do that, an outside force was necessary. The Force."

"I didn't know it was the Force. I didn't. I just thought they were some strange abilities I acquired through time... As if something out there was watching over me and helping me survive. Helping me live. As if it felt bad for the life I had." You said, taking in a deep breath. "But, whatever they may be... or whoever gave them to me, I was thankful. They helped me more than anything else. I could've died countless of times without them."

"But then, as I found myself in yet another sticky situation in which I could've died in, I escaped. And, when I had... Someone found me." Looking him in the eyes, as if your own could tell him just where your story was going, Kylo blinked. A part of him felt as if he did, but he couldn't grasp onto what. "A man I had no idea of who they were until, well, they told me." You lifted the corner of your lips, a faint grin that lasted mere seconds. "Luke Skywalker."

Swallowing, Kylo took in a quiet, deep breath. He should have seen that coming. He should have known it was his uncle. How that man was trying so hard... How he was so desperate.

"I had been having these odd visions... Every time I needed to have a safe place to escape to, I used my mind. And, in my mind, I saw this island. This vast ocean... Little did I know I was destined to cross paths with Luke Skywalker." You lightly chuckled. "Well, he projected them onto me... He sensed me out in the Force. The only one who had. Not Snoke... Not you. Luke did. And he searched for me. And then he found me."

"I couldn't seem to understand the visions until I met him. It made sense... but then I was confronted by—I met—Force ghosts and they, too, helped me. Somewhat." You slightly shrugged. "He trained me... Taught me. Told me the Jedi ways weren't needed any longer. Only certain aspects. So he trained me in a way he thought best..."

"And then he gave me a lightsaber. One I so easily connected to... One that connected me to its owner." Taking in a deep breath, you softly spoke, "Ben Solo." Seeing his eyebrows knit, you turned around, Kylo watching as you went to grab something from your nightstand. Walking back to him, you extended out your hand and opened your palm, Kylo looking down at it and leaning away. "It all started by this."

"H-" Cutting himself off, he swallowed, you looking up and biting your inner lip.

"I saw it all... It showed me. Your turn. The massacre." You explained. "Meeting Luke opened up something within me that invited so many Forces... So many that I, I could never tell what it is that I wanted. I never knew where I belonged. Before this, I had nothing, I was just another person in this galaxy trying to survive, except with abilities. Now, I'm someone who has so many paths... but I still don't know which to take."

"Snoke and Luke, they both misguided you." Kylo finally spoke, breaking his silence. "They've never been in a position where they're caught in between, where they're drawn to both. They never knew what it was like to feel lost and confused. Afraid." He said. "But I... I know exactly what it's like. I know how it feels."

Looking you deeply in the eyes, feeling your Force intertwine with his, your mind opening up to him and thoughts nearly moving freely, he sensed your imbalance, the way the dark and light flickered within you, fighting.

"I can help you."

〉〉〉〉

A/N

And so they've finally met! About time, I was getting too eager for you guys to read this and to finally get into the good stuff that wasn't just Force calls.

Thanks for reading! Votes and comments are appreciated!

〉 Nic