Carnell ~
" It's too tight! Take it out! "
" But I almost have it all the way in! Give me a minute. "
"Carnell, you're hurting me! "
" It just needs to be pushed in a little harder, but you won't let me. "
" Yeah, and when you take it out you're getting punched in the face. "
" Then I guess its staying in. "
She pulled away from me, and untangled the clip from her curls.
" I'm f*cking tender headed! "
I laughed. " I know that now. "
She rolled her eyes and twisted her hair into a loose bun.
" If the baby is a girl, you are never, under no circumstance allowed to do her hair. Especially if she has my hair. "
I rolled my eyes. " Whatever. I think I did a good job. "
" And when my hair starts falling out, I guess that'll prove you wrong. "
" Until then, hush. You're just gonna leave your hair like that? "
" Well, yeah. I mean, look at me. I'm just going to the doctors. "
I looked at what she was wearing. My grey sweatpants, and a navy blue shirt with HCO going down the side.
" You do realize you wear more of my clothes than I do, right? "
She shrugged, and wrapped her arms around me. " So, "
I kissed her forehead.
" What are we gonna do with Jorelys? "
" Noelle picked her up earlier, "
" Good. "
" You ready? "
After an hour and 45mins, we finally reached the hospital that Gabrielle's mother insisted we go too, even if it means she has to pay $400 dollars each check-up. Her mother was waiting for us in the waiting room.
" Carnell, " she stood up. " Nice to see you again, "
" You too, Ms. Giordano. " I smiled politely. She turned to Gabrielle.
" Gabrielle. Are you going to speak up, or just stand there? "
Gabrielle narrowed her eyes and put on a plastic smile. " Hello mother. "
" That's better. Now, the doctor was busy but I pulled some strings and got him to come to the office, so let's not waste any time. "
We got Gabi in the room and I watched him put gel on Gabrielle's stomach.
" So, Mommy-To-Be. Would you like to know the sex? "
" No-"
" Yes. "
Gabrielle and her mom spoke at the same time.
" What do you mean, you don't want to know the sex, Gabrielle? How will we know what color to buy clothes in? "
She rolled her eyes. " Mother, we have time for that. I want to wait. "
" Wait for what? If its a boy now, it'll be a boy then. What's the point in waiting? "
" Exactly. If its a boy now, it'll be a boy then. If its a girl now, I'll be a girl then. So why wouldn't you wait? "
" Gabrielle, this is unacceptable! "
" You're not gonna tell me how to run my life Mother, d*mn! Butt out! "
" Hey! " I yelled over the madness. " This is supposed to be a peaceful outing. Let's keep it that way. Gabrielle, are you sure you don't want to know what the baby is? "
" Positive. "
" Okay, then. " I turned to the doctor. " We'll wait. "
Gabrielle's mother stood in the corner pouting like a child. The doctor cleared his throat.
" Well. If you listen closely, you can hear a heartbeat."
The room fell silent. Gabrielle's face lit up when she heard the heartbeat.
" That's insane. "
" If you look, " the doctor pointed. " You can see the head. "
Gabrielle laughed. " It has your head. Look at it. It's huge. "
I glared at her.
" Well, do you have any questions? "
" Uh, I do. " Gabrielle's mother finally chimed in. " Can we get blood work done on her, just so we can see what vitamins she needs to be taking? I know that when you're pregnant, the body can sometimes- "
" Mother, please! "
Gabrielle's mother shook her head, and clicked out of the room.
" She's so f*cking annoying! "
" She was just trying to help. "
" Who's side are you on here? "
" Hey, " I put my hands up. " I'm Switzerland. "
"...what? What does that even mean ? "
I laughed at her.
" Come on. Let's go home. "
The drive home was long and quiet. When we got home, Gabrielle wrapped herself around me in my lap.
" Babe, " she said, our fingers intertwined with her looking down.
" Mm ? "
" Are you scared? "
" Scared of what? "
" You know...having a baby. Having a family. Starting a new life. Together. Just us. "
I thought about it. I guess me having to think about it was the answer to the question. Was I scared? H*ll yes. I'd never even dreamed of starting a family this young, no matter who it was with. But would I be scared enough to run away? No. Still, I'd be scared enough to start rethinking things. Basic choices. I guess I never really thought about it, ya know? The whole father thing. Doesnt seem very likely. Especially for me. But still, I'd never run from Gabi, especially in a situation like this. I wouldnt be able to take it.
" Are you scared ?"
She sighed. " I'm absolutely terrified. I dont know if I can do it. "
I edged her jaw up so she'd finally look up at me. " I don't want to hear you talking like that, Gabrielle. We can do it, and we will do it. Together. "
She kissed me for what felt like forever. " What did I do to deserve you ? "
I smiled. " You were born. "
Gabrielle ~
Carnell's phone buzzed in his pocket, and I left to the bathroom while he answered it.
I sighed, lifting up my shirt and looking in the mirror.
" What have you gotten yourself into now, Gabrielle? " I whispered to myself.
" We're gonna get you out of here soon, " I rubbed my belly. " Hopefully sooner than later. And remember what I said. Don't be like Mommy. Be like Daddy. He's a much more fit person to take after, okay? Mommy is too much of a screw up. You will not be like Mommy. You will be smart, and you will make good choices. I won't be like grandma either. She's horrible. I'll never push you away. "
I noticed Carnell's reflection after feeling his arms around me. " Mommy is not a screw up. Mommy is perfect, and Daddy loves Mommy. And Daddy will be really upset if he hears Mommy talking to Baby like that. Does Mommy understand ?"
He pecked my lips. " Yeah. Mommy's got it. "
" Good. But anyway, I have to go to the hospital for awhile. Stay here and be careful ? "
" Hospital for what ? "
" Xavier broke his arm. He won't stop screaming for me. Do you want to come ? "
" No. I'm all hospitaled out. Give him a kiss for me ? "
" Gross. "
He pulled me towards him and kissed me like crazy.
He turned to walk out of the door, then turned back to me.
" Gabi ? "
" Yeah ? "
" I love you. Be careful, okay? I love you. "
I cracked a smile. " I love you too. I will. I love you too. "
I closed the door behind him.
" Well, Baby. It's just us. Are you hungry ? You're always hungry. "
Carnell ~
By the time I got there, Gabrielle was knocked out on the couch with an empty tub of low fat strawberry yogurt, since she's not allowed to have ice cream. I sighed, and cleaned up her mess before carrying her into the bedroom.
She groaned and turned over to look at me.
"Hey babe. Is he okay? " she said groggily.
" Xavier? Yeah. He's fine. And you need to lay off the yogurt. "
" I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. It's so good. "
" I bet it was. "
" Now my belly hurts. "
" You see? That's why you shouldn't eat everything. "
" It was just like...looking at me! Sitting in the fridge mocking me 'nsh*t. "
" Watch your mouth. "
I lifted up her shirt and kissed around her belly-button.
" Has the baby been kicking? "
" All friggen day. It hurt so bad.." her voice trailed off as she snuggled back into the pillow.
I smiled, and rubbed her belly. " Go to sleep, beautiful. " I kissed her cheek. " I'll be here when you wake up. "
" No. You go to sleep, "
I shook my head at her. " You always have to make things harder than they have to be. "
She shrugged, then snuggled into my chest. " Sing to me. "
"When nothing makes any sense anymore,
when my world crashes down to the floor.
You put it back together, mend my broken heart.
It's like I'm staring at the missing part of me,
look into your eyes and it gets hard to breathe.
When everything else gets crazy, you're uncomplicated. "
I lulled her too sleep, and sped off to Patrick's house, hoping he'd still be awake so I could have someone to rant too before I had a full blown panic attack.
Of course not.
I walked in the front door only to find Jorelys sipping something and flipping through channels in the living room. She wobbled over to me and gave me a sloppy wet kiss.
I pushed her off and wiped my mouth. " You know, one of these days, Gabrielle is gonna see you do that and tear your face off. "
" I doubt it. Hey, have you finally come back to your senses and realize I'm all you need? "
I chuckled. " That won't ever happen, Jorelys. Give it up. "
" I will never give you up, " she pulled me close to her.
" You know, " I pushed her away and rolled my eyes. " You should consider AA meetings. You have a problem. Stop drinking. "
" I'll stop drinking when you stop f*cking random girls. "
Now, I had two choices. A) I could throw her through a wall and continue with my life. B) I could make a 'Daddy' decision and just leave.
I tried going with B, but Jorelys slammed me against the door and tongue tied me.
I willed myself to push her away. G*d, I tried. So hard. But, I just...
Wait. What the actual f*ck ? Carnell! What the f*ck!
I pulled away and looked at her incredulously.
" Now, " she whispered. " You can't tell me you don't miss me? "
" Ugh! " I yelled, more disgusted with myself than anything. I ran out to my car and raced back to Gabrielle, asap.
My head pounded thinking about what just happened. What actually just happened? Crap!
Gabrielle was sound asleep still when I got back home, completely unaware that I was even gone.
Ah, f*ck. Good job, Carnell. Awesome.
