I'll Teach You What Love Is - Mileven

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Fourteen's POV
I know precisely why I'm sick. The reasoning circles around and around in my head threatening to drive me insane. Thinking of having to tell Will exactly what happened to me when I was still in the Lab makes my nausea even worse. Even remembering that fateful night makes my stomach twist and churn. I don't know how this is even possible. It shouldn't be. I should be too young, too small, for this. Tears begin to leak from the corners of my eyes. I squeeze my eyes shut and a familiar flashback begins.
-Flashback-
I have no idea where I am. The darkness pressing in on all sides is disorienting. I can't even see my hand in front of me. It seems to be a small room from what I can feel, but I'm not sure. How I even ended up in here is currently a mystery to me. What I do know is that I'm doing my best not to completely and utterly panic. I've always been claustrophobic and scared of the dark. That being said, my heart is beating out of my chest and my breathing is coming in short, gasping bursts. I can feel cold sweat sliding down my back and dripping down my face. I try to think back and figure out what happened. The last thing I remember is walking into my room and laying down. I think it may have smelled a bit funny but my house was always filled with the scents of varied drugs due to my father. I carefully consider what my bed felt like when I crawled in. Now that I think about it, there had seemed to be a slight dampness to my pillow. It had the same sweet, intoxicating smell as the rest of my room. Normally, I toss and turn for hours before finally
falling asleep, yet I had been out within moments of smelling that scent clinging to everything in my room. The realization hits me in that moment. I had been drugged and taken.....where? My father had been particularly intoxicated and high, so much so that nearly anyone could have gotten past him with ease. And my mother? She was out partying at the club with her "squad" as she called the friend group she clings to. It is fully possible that someone snuck in, drugged my room, snuck back out and waited somewhere until I went to bed. Then, after I was asleep they snuck in through my large window, grabbed me and brought me to wherever I currently am being held.
I'm sitting in the darkness, pondering life, when the door starts to open. Light pours in and I blink, trying to get my vision back after being stuck in the dark.
Large, callused hands wrap around my arms and I begin to scream. I look up to see a stony male face, seemingly deaf to my screams and pleading. His grip only tightens on my arm. Another male joins him, this one carrying a blindfold. He wraps it around my face, and the world goes dark again as that sweet, intoxicating scent fills my nose and mouth with each breath.
I don't know what happens after that, but this same ritual continues what I believe to be every day. I am taken out of my cell, carried a ways, blindfolded and knocked out, then reawaken back in my cell.
This happens every day, except for one, about two months before my escape, I believe. It's different this time, because they do not blindfold me, and I am not forced into unconsciousness. I am kept awake as I'm carried into an all white room, that appears to be glowing with fluorescent lights. In the center of the room, is a bed, and on the bed, is the man I fear most. The man who forces me to work each day, after I awaken, on my powers. He makes me work until I'm bleeding from my ears and eyes, beating me if I don't listen.
The man carrying me sets me down on the bed gently. I begin to shake with fear. The man ever so slowly moves closer to me. He moves like a predator, eyes fixed on me, moving with intent.
I have forgotten many of the details after that. He had raped me without stopping for what felt like hours. And when all was done, the guards came back and threw me back in my cell. The man hadn't said a word the entire time. Later that day, the guards had come again and I had to practice my powers as usual. That was the worst day of my life.
This new routine continued, not a day went by without a break.
They shaved my head and pushed me to the point of insanity. I was entirely numb, my feelings buried deep inside of me. I'd been broken, and I didn't know how to function. The only reprieve I had from the suffering was when I'd been put into a cell with another girl, named Eleven. She had made things more bearable, and had quickly become my friend. I think I may have died without her.

-End of flashback-

My eyes opened and I pressed a hand to my slightly swollen stomach. I could sense what was growing inside my small, young body. Could feel the child within. I felt love for what was inside of me, but I was also terrified, and the baby was a reminder of what had happened to me.
I knew I wanted to keep it, I just wasn't sure how it was going to be possible. Or how I was going to tell Will. The morning sickness and the slight swelling of my tiny stomach were only the first signs, and many more would come. This wouldn't be the worst challenge I had faced, and I knew everyone would support me, I just didn't know what to do. I was so, so young and inexperienced. I could survive. I had to survive, or all of it would be for nothing.