Shrek Really Is Love

I Wouldn't Leave The Swamp Either

As I walked down our front steps on to the lush, brown, dead, bloodstained grass, my ears were immediately filled with the screams of the unknown. These screams were more than just screams. This was the anthem that lets everyone know that they're alive while others are being thrown into the fiery pit of nonexistence.

"Geez, man. I know we're poor but why do we have to live by the damn murder houses? Who the fuck decided to build homes for living fucking people when all they can hear is others dying. I survived the damn apocalypse! I should be treated like a..... like a...... princess....." I trailed off, because something of more importance had grasped my attention right by the testicles (even though I am a girl, my attention is a boy). 

"Wyfo! What the fuck are you doing, man? Get away from that!" I shouted. Everyone knows if you touch anything that isnt on the Board Of Okay Things To Touch (BOOTTT), you shouldn't fucking touch it!

"That could be radioactive, you idiot!" I started marching over to Wyfo. Wyfo suffered some really weird ass brain damage in the apocalypse. Some days he is blind, some days he is deaf, some days he is mute, some days he us all three, some days he is none, but even before the apocalypse he was always stupid.

When I reached him, I pulled him away from the hunk of stuff by his shoulders. I turned him around and waved in front of his face. He gave me a stubborn look and started to laugh

"Dammit, Georgia. You never let me have any fun! I just wanted to see what this was before the..... the thing. You know?" He punched me really hard in the face, but playfully. I punched him back.

We caused such a commotion with our really hardcore punch war. We could feel the ground starting to shake as our fists were flying here and there, we could hear the rumble of the debris atop the newly built apartment buildings. We didn't care. This was our time.

Things started to fall down upon us. A rusty old toilet, a couch with glass shards. Sometimes, the shit you find here, I think the world is trying to kill us again.

Wyfo and I both screamed. We ran for cover, inside my house. The other bad thung about being poor is that your area isn't cleaned up. Our homes were just build amidst the mess. There are no roads you can drive on. You have to walk to town.

As we reached my front door, I opened it up and threw us both inside. I quickly closed and locked it.

"WYFO! LOOK WHAT YOU CAUSED! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED US.... OR WORSE, OTHER PEOPLE! DO YOU KNOW THE FINE FOR THAT? WE HAVE TO PRESERVE HUMAN LIFE YOU IDIOT!" I wanted to punch him so bad,  but decided against it as punching is what caused this whole ordeal.

I quickly ran up to my room. I was looking for a disguise, anything. Ramming through my dresser, the only possible thing I could find was some dirt and dust.

'That'll do, donkey. That'll do." I whispered to myself as I rounded up all the dust and dirt as I could.

I was just about to leave when I had happened to glance over to my bed.

What the fuck? There was a cloth with a small thing the size of a book on it. On the top there was a small, circular ruffle. I put the container of dust down and went over to see what it was. My parents never gave me gifts, so I wonder what this could be. I sat down on my bed beside it before opening it.

"GEORGIA. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? MURDERING AN ORPHAN?" Wyfo shouted.

"GOD DAMMIT THAT WAS ONE TIME WYFO. AND NO. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, MY GOD!" I shouted back. He is so impatient it makes me wanna bash his skull in. But I cant. That's illegal.

Back to the thing. I was staring at it intently, trying to guess the dangers that could be under it. A bomb? Poison? Porn? I guess I Wouldn't know until I took off the cloth. 

I gently picked up the corner of the cloth to reveal the corner of the thing. I was right the first time, it was a book. I quickly pulled the rest off and closed my eyes, waiting for the death that may come.

After about 10 seconds of nothing happening,  I opened my eyes.

It was a book. Not just any book. It was... well, I think it was Shrek's. It was Fiona's fairy tale book! Atop the book was a wedding ring. Under the ring and on top of the book was a small note. I didn't know what the hell was going on here, but I hoped this would give me more answers than questions.

"Dear Georgia,

I have come to inform you of your engagement to mister Sir. Shrek. I hope you will accept this engagement request. Your father and I was spoken about the matter, and as much as he regrets to tell you that Juettny is dead,  I am quite happy about it.

You have a task. You must make it to the swamp by 8:00 PM on Thursday to complete this. Unfortunately this is not a choice. You will get your ass over here.

Sincerely, Donkey."

Wow...... I'm marrying....  Shrek? But what about Fiona? 

I looked out my grime incrusted window and thought to myself.

"Now I know why Shrek doesn't live here. It's dangerous and disgusting. 

I wouldnt leave the swamp, either. "

To be continued...