50 Thoughts That Scare Me [Frerard]

We're Beautiful Tragedies. -Chapter 11

Over the week I tried to push Gerard away. Whether I tried locking the door and pushing the curtains shut, to hiding in my own locker at school. I was succeeding a little bit. When I did catch a glance at Gerard he just seemed different. He barely smiled, he kept his eyes focused on whatever he was doing, and he tried his best to not glance back at me. It was like something inside of him had died. I felt bad for pushing away, but I had to. I wanted to talk to him, to try to understand why he looked down, but I knew that would be a bad idea. So I went to the only person I could. And that's how I ended up where I am now, sitting criss cross in the small room of Mikey Way. 

"Hey Mikey, I have a question." I bit my lip. 

"Hey Frank, what's up?" He looked up from the bass he was playing. 

"Well, it's about Gerard. Do you know why he looks sad?" I sat next to him. I watched him put the Bass down and sit next to me again. 

"Frank," he sighed, "Gerard. He-uhh, he has depression. It's hard for him to get close to people. You know, let them in. It's because of---some stuff that happened before we moved here. I'm assuming he didn't tell you about Elena?" He asked. I shook my head no, so he continued to talk."Give him time. Just please, don't leave him." He whispered. "Okay." I whispered back and stood up. 

"You're really good at Bass. You should think about joining a band." I said before I left. 

While I was walking down the hallway I ran right into Gerard who was leaving his room. I looked up at him, because I was pretty short compared to him. He looked down with a half smile. 

"Don't." I said softly. He pulled his eyebrows together, to signal his confusion. "That's not a real smile. I can tell." I pointed towards his lips. He bit his bottom lip, causing me to smirk. 

"What?" He sounded defensive. 

"That's bad for your lips you know." I pointed to his teeth that were tugging on his bottom lip. I chuckled a little and grabbed his wrist, pulling him down the hall and dragging him out of his house. 

"I'm borrowing your son Mrs.Way!" I shouted before I ran to my house with his wrist still in my hand. 

"Frank what are you doing?" Gerard asked, he still sounded serious. He didn't even call me Frankie like he usually does. 

I pulled him into my house and closed the door behind me. I led him into my bedroom and we sat down on my bed. I closed the door and sat across from him.

"Talk to me." I said. All the thoughts about pushing Gerard away went away. 

"Why? I thought you didn't wanna be friends." He said shyly and looked at his knees.

"Gee. It's complicated to explain alright. I just don't want you being upset." I scooted closer to him. 

He looked up at me and just when I thought he was going to tell me about being upset, he said the one thing that made me smile. "Did you take your pills, Frankie?" I shook my head and chuckled as I reached over to my desk and grabbed my pills. I threw them into my mouth and swallowed them. "I did now, Gee." He returned my smile and then it dropped. "I missed you, Frankie." He said. I immediately pulled him into a hug and said "I missed you too." We pulled apart and looked at each other. His eyes were hazel with green. My stomach was flopping around and doing flips. I felt my heart rate speed up and it was getting harder to breathe. 

I remember that day we kissed and told each other we loved each other. It was just friendly. I always believed that love was just hormones and chemicals, it wasn't a real feeling. I didn't believe in loving someone, unless it was someone like your mom.