The Village

A Tail of Depression

"Nobody ever tells you that emptiness weighs the most."
-Healthplace.com

Aurorakit's POV

The next stage of my life, being an apprentice, should've been exciting to me. At six moons old, I couldn't understand why the normally happy concept fell flat for me. Don't get me wrong, I was happy some days. It's just that when I woke up, I felt numb for some reason.

My mother Swancry, scolded me for not treating the ceremony like an honor. It sucked being her only kit after my Dad died in a battle with PhoenixClan, it meant that I had all the pressure resting on my shoulders.

"All cats who can catch their own prey, um, come here." I heard our leader Goldenstar announce timidly.

Well, here we go. I stepped out of the Nursery, destined to be the best warrior for my mother. My Mom was talking to Goldenstar in a hushed whisper, her tail lashing in annoyance.

The one thing I looked forward was training with Grizzlypaw and Smokypaw, who were both really nice and caring apprentices for their Clan. Mom even told me that I should be more like them.

"Aurorakit, you are now Aurorapaw." Goldenstar's eyes darted everywhere. "Um, Snowfern. I think you should be her mentor. Teach her how to be kind and how to care for her Clan."

"No! I told you that you should've gave her a strict mentor. Like Pacifica or Lazuli!" Mom protested. "Even if they were sloppy kittypets!"

"I was never a kittypet." Lazuli corrected my mother.

"I chose Snowfern because she's patient and kind. I think t-that's what Aurorapaw needs." Goldenstar looked away nervously.

"She needs discipline."Mom growled.

"And I'm sure that she gets enough of that from you." Our deputy Darkheart retorted. "Respect our leader's decisions."

I noticed a fluffy white she-cat with green eyes walking towards me. Once I noticed her friendly gaze, I felt some of the pressure and fear melt away. She touched her nose to mine.

"As your mentor, I'll make sure that you have nothing to fear. Even if you're not the best warrior, you'll still try your best. And that's what matters." Snowfern vowed. "Since we can see the entire territory, I only need to show you a few things. Then I can teach you some hunting moves."

"Nice." I was content with that, but my numbness didn't go away. Maybe, I hoped, tomorrow would feel different.

Snowfern showed me the Raging River that divided our Clan from PhoenixClan and FireClan, the Moon-Oak near our territory where the medicine cats meet once a moon, and the Gathering Lake that all four Clans meet at during full moon.

"I'm really sorry that I haven't been as excited as I should be." I sighed.

"Don't be, I've seen how harsh your mother can be." Snowfern reassured me.

"That's the thing, her scolding and belittling doesn't bother me that much anymore." I admitted. "I can't explain why my body feels so heavy, and why I don't feel much today. Is there something wrong with me?"

"I shouldn't think so." Snowfern meowed. "Perhaps you're bored or just tired. Don't worry though, some hunting practice should lighten your mood."

It didn't. At best, the hunting moves Snowfern taught me poked my curiosity, but that didn't lift my mood. This sucks, this literally fucking sucks-

*shuffle*

What? I saw a mouse jump out of the bushes and into my line of sight; no trees in the way at all. Here was my chance to feel something today, even a sliver of pride to allow me emotion. Please, I needed this.