His Best Kept Secret | FACK [COMPLETED]

Chapter 18: Jaeden Lieberher's Secret

"Yes. He's very gay." I blurted out, "And I'm only telling you because I know how much it hurts to get asked if I like girls and if that girl "over there" is cute." I said without knowing precisely what I just admitted.

"Oh, so you're....gay too?" She asked, causing me to realize I spilled the beans all over the fucking floor. It was a boiling too, so it was hot as shit, and now it's all over the fucking floor steaming and shit. I had just created this biggest mess I never wanted and now she's waiting for me to respond. "Are you open about it?"

Am I open about it? If I was fucking open about it you'd know about it because Finn would actually touch me. He'd hold my hand and show me off to the world. 

"No, I'm not. Especially not...not to my mom. She'd-" I panicked. "She'd kill me." Tears beaded up on the corners of my eye. I began to imagine the things my mom would do to me and the things she wouldn't do to me. The silence. Her deafening silence. Her glances at me, the type that are full of shame and disgust. She'd look at me like I wasn't human like she looked at my dad. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't prepared for what she wouldn't say.

"Don't worry Jack. It's okay." She slid next to me bringing me for a hug. She was the first adult I told I was gay. I shook in her arms as she rubbed the back of my head. She told me everything would be okay and that she loved me no matter what. That warm, ice melting feeling returned, and I knew life wouldn't be as shitty as it was starting to feel like. With her and Jaeden I knew I'd be alright, but with Finn and my mom? I still didn't know. 

I hope she is right.

--

"She fucking knows," I screamed quietly at Jaeden. We were in Finn's bedroom. He didn't know we were there, he was taking a shower after the long day at the Amusement park and I needed a neutral place to tell Jaeden about his mom. 

"Who knows what?" He threw his hands up in confusion.

"Your mom knows about you and Wyatt." I said, "But you can't tell her I told you."

"What the fuck Jack. Why would she ask you about it?"

"I don't fucking know!" I said.

"Did you say something about me and Wyatt to her?" Jaeden got closer to me.

"No, I'd never." I paused a moment, "She heard you on the phone with Wyatt."

"Fuck." He stood up and walked over to the window looking at the dark skyline through Finn's window. "Is she mad?"

"She was bubbling over it, dude. She loves you and is supportive. You should just-"

"Are you crazy!? I'm not ready to come out." Jaiden turned around with tears running down his face.

"Jae, you don't understand, she's happy for you and Wyatt." I tried comforting him by grabbing his shoulder and rubbing it with my thumb. I'm not sure if it worked though, as he was sniffling like he was crying.

"But...I mean now that I know she knows it should be easy, right?" Jaeden whimpered. "Easy to tell her." 

"If you're not ready, buddy, then it won't be easy. Shit like this doesn't have a manual or set of rules. I won't be able to tell you when you will be comfortable with yourself. I'm not even comfortable with myself. It might feel like pulling off a band-aid slowly and painfully or like having your back cracked releasing all the pent-up pressure. All I'm trying to tell you is that you should just trust that your mom loves you regardless." Jaeden was looking down at the ground, probably ashamed of what his mother would think of him for loving another boy. I picked up his chin and with a smile said: "Jae, she loves you. You're her fucking world. She's so proud of you no matter what you do and who you are." 

"Thanks, Jack." He sucked in some air, "I love you, buddy." He said while wrapping his arms around me for a hug. He was much taller than me at the time, and his arm span was bigger than a fucking hawk's. He engulfed me in his chest. 

"love you too, Jae." I said. He smelled really good. Then, my feelings for him started to return. They came up from the grave like the animals from pet cemetery, but thankfully, thankfully the door opened before the animals were fully out of the ground.

Finn was standing there with a toothbrush in his mouth and a towel around his waist. "What the fuck are you guys doing here?" He said pulling the toothbrush from his mouth.

"I needed to tell Jaeden something somewhere safe," I said pulling away from Jaeden.

"Okay...Well, where am I gonna get dressed then?" Finn whined.

"Here." I handed him some clothes trying to get him to leave so I could make sure Jaeden was okay. "Go get dressed in the shower or something"

"Jack I-" Finn tried saying,

"Get dressed in here then! It's nothing I haven't seen before." I said without thinking.

"Wait you've seen it before?" Jaeden said with a sniffle. This somehow pulled him out of thinking about his mom.

"Yeah, I'd like to know when you saw me too?" Finn said shivering a little as water dripped from his hair onto the cold wood floor.

Fuck I chose the wrong words there, "I mean it in the sense that I have all the parts he has. Just as you do, Jaeden." I paused a moment, "You know what I'm just gonna go."

I left the room, closing the door behind me. Then I realized I left my boyfriend almost naked with another cute ass boy. This was NOT okay, so I returned to Finn's room. Both boys hadn't moved.

"Jaeden lets go. Your house." I nodded at Jaeden in an attempt to get him out of the room.

"Oh shit yea, coming," Jaeden said. I slipped past him to kiss on Finn's cheek.

"Love you, babe," I said as I slammed the door. 

"Love you too," Finn replied through the door. It was muffled and kinda defeated, in a cute sort of way. 

To be continued.