His Best Kept Secret | FACK [COMPLETED]

Chapter 5: "Well, I am gay."

(Hey guys, I want to thank you all for reading! If you're enjoying please vote and share with your friends?!? Also, Sorry for the wait, this chapter was originally going to be one long one, but I decided to cut it into two parts ;)

I laid there that morning awake while Finn slept in. He breathed onto my neck, warm and humid. I enjoyed it. His arm was wrapped around me, strapping my back to his chest. Everything was perfect. I could lay with him forever like that, snuggled up with his lanky body keeping me warm.

It was Saturday and we had a day off from shooting. Thank god we had a day off. We basically had seven straight days of filming, which wasn't horrible, but it was nice to have some downtime.

I wished I could play with his hair, but his grip on me was strong and I couldn't move at all. So I made do with what I had: his arm. I slid my hand down his velvety arms mapping out the landscape like cartographers who first drew maps of this part of the world. Their job was to make sure that every important detail of the land was analyzed and recorded. They had to explore, investigate and understand almost everything about the world they saw just so that people could walk around a little easier.

I wanted to know everything about Finn, like the way his hair looked when he first woke up and the way he cried during a sad scene of a movie. I wanted to take notes on how he said goodbye and hello and how he shook people's hands when he met them. I wanted to be able to know the difference between his fake laugh and his genuine one.

I wanted to have Finn's map. I wanted Finn to be my world.

"You up sleepy head?" He said releasing me from his grasp. It was easier to breathe, but I missed that warm feeling inside my chest when he touched me. Then that feeling came back, I felt the slight touch of his hand glide across my tummy. He slid his hand under my shirt...oh, my god. I hope he doesn't think I'm fat.

"Yeah, I'm up," I said trying to enjoy the moment while failing to suppress the thought that he would hate what he felt. I tried to knock this thought out of my head. I wanted to hit it with a baseball bat into the stands of Yankee stadium so that I didn't have to think about it anymore. Would that even be far enough away for me to forget? "How did you sleep?" I asked while trying not to tense up from the dark thoughts.

"If I'm going to be honest, really well. Absolutely well." He smiled as he leaned his head on my shoulder, kissing my cheek good morning. His slight touch turned into a heavy drag and I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want him to hate everything bad about me, so I grabbed his hand and slid it into mine. "Hey, what was that for?" He asked in shock.

"Nothing... I just...what are we doing today?" I changed the subject so quick that I hoped he wouldn't have time to notice.

He got up though, he was clearly offended. "I felt you touching me, why can't I touch you?" This was getting weird, well...not to me, but it could to an outsider. I guess looking from an outside perspective, if I had just walked into this situation, I would see that what he just said is really weird in almost every contextual way to imagine.

"I just don't want you to hate me." His face melted into confusion. He sat down next to me.

"I don't think I could hate you," he said with those eyes. The eyes that look straight into your soul and look study your every response to see if you're telling the truth. "I don't think I could ever hate anything about you."

"It's just...I'm not as skinny as Jaeden or Wyatt...or you" I mumbled trying to explain my case. My mom always told me my baby fat would go away. So I waited and waited and waited like a kid waiting for Santa Claus in June. December felt so far away.

He got this smile, this smile that overcame everything else in the room, like the light from a sunrise overcomes everything in its wake. He got an idea, and I knew I wasn't going to like it....

"You think being a stick would turn me on more?" He replied with that sarcastic Richie tone, god the movie was really growing on him, and it was kind of hot.

"Wolfhard don't think that for one second you wouldn't like it if I had abs" I shot back.

"I don't know, Jack, I like you the way you are." he paused a moment, "I like having a little to hold onto" he quipped with a wink.

Fuck. Did I really have enough fat on me for him to hold onto? I drew my thoughts back in like hitting rewind on a remote. It was a compliment, he meant it as a compliment, I thought to myself. Apparently, this feeling began to show on my face as I sat in silence.

"Babe, okay, I know what you're thinking and I didn't mean it that way." He replied like a little kid trying to quickly pull together a bunch of lego pieces that had smashed onto the floor.

"Babe?" I fought my instant reflex to smile but lost. My face quickly flushed bright red. I don't think he was sure if I was okay with him calling me that.

"Can I call you-" I interrupted before he could finish though. "Yes, yes you can." I made sure he knew that I liked it. I nodded with the vigor of 300 horses--whatever that means. He laughed, but little did he know that it made me melt like a fucking iceberg succumbing to global warming. He made the fucking polar bears die when he called me "babe" and trust me I care about the polar bears, but when he called me babe the polar bears would go extinct.

"Well then, babe, let's go on an adventure." He reached out for me showing off his friendly face.

An adventure?

--

Jaeden placed his hands over his mouth as his face lit up with excitement. He beat Wyatt at a video game. Not only that, he destroyed him. Jaeden then began laughing like best friends do after something embarrassing happens to one of them.

Wyatt just sat there in complete shock. He didn't even turn his head. He had that face, he was so done.

"Wy?" Jaeden asked after noticing that Wyatt had failed to respond to anything that had just happened. He was like a robot, who just shut off. His face stood still like cement, not even moving. "I'm sorry..." Jaeden's face immediately saddened.

In one quick movement, Wyatt got up and rolled Jaeden in his office chair onto his bed, tackling him like a football player. Jaeden thought he was going to die, the look on Wyatt's face resembled someone who just lost their kid. "I fucked up" Jaeden thought.

Wyatt pulled both of Jaeden's arms behind his head and looked him straight in the eyes, "no one finds out about this." He stared at Jaeden with his lifeless, angry eyes.

"About what?" Jaeden smiled, he wanted to push Wyatt's buttons, "Because right now I can think of two things you might now want anyone to know about."

Finally, the pavement cracked, a smile formed on Wyatt's face, "Oh yeah? What are those two things?" Wyatt smirked. Jaeden looked up to his two hands which were being held down by Wyatt's noodle arms. (I'm not cliche okay, not gonna call him noodle hair haha)

"I honestly don't mind being on the bottom," Jaeden said changing the subject, "You're...warm." Jaeden winked which caused Wyatt to lose his composure, he fell to Jaeden's side laughing.

"You and your gay shit," he replied through his laughs.

"Well, I am gay..." Jaeden whispered... Wyatt almost immediately stopped laughing and sat there for a moment, the cement was patched.

Jaeden could feel a pit in his stomach beginning to form. "Was Wy okay with me being gay?" He thought to himself. He felt like he was sinking into Wyatt's bed, almost like he was falling from a plane except there was no ground to stop him. He had no parachute, no way out. The silence was deafening.

To be continued.