Criminal ~ Shoey

Chappyter 32 - Exams ft. Brown ft. Panic! At...tack o-o

» Shane's POV «

Graduation was next week...so that means exams are this week! Fun, right? It doesn't really bother me as long as I can go home and complain about it to Joey. Since we made up, things have been amazing between us. Like in Rome, and when we first met.

Right now was my Biology exam. I got exempted from the Calculus and Honors English exams because my grades were high enough, which is better than doing all subjects but I'm not going to stop complaining for that.

My thoughts kept getting carried away and I was being distracted by everything. The hands on the clock on the wall. The fly soaring across the room. The back of Lisa's head. Mister McGaughy's toupee. Everything was more interesting than this exam. I was nearly halfway through the test but I couldn't seem to draw myself back to the questions on the paper. Biology seems so stupid right now, I cant even place my finger on why we have to take this exam. I don't care about human anatomy, cell anatomy, and I especially don't care about taxonomy. "Forty-five minutes left." Mister McGaughy said, his voice sounding bored. He looked like he'd rather be anywhere else on the planet. That makes two of us. No, that makes a whole classroom of us. I sighed, tapping my pencil's eraser on my desk. Finish the exam, Shane, finish it so you can leave!

I finished it around the fifteen-minutes-left mark. Thank god.

"How'd it go, how'd it go?!" Joey questioned as soon as I sat down in the passenger seat of the Mariner my mom bought for me as an early graduation present. She told me about it the day after the Sawyer thing last week. I got it this weekend. I told Joey it was his until I did graduate. "It fucking sucked. Just like the World History one did yesterday." I replied, sinking low in the leather seat. Joey chuckled, pulling the idling SUV away from the curb. "I bet it wasn't that bad. What's your last exam?" He asked, taking a left. "Broadcasting and Communications. Mister Stewart, the teacher, said he'd let us play computer games for it."

"He sounds awesome." Joey said, reaching across the console to grab my hand from my lap. When he took my hand was when I noticed how fidgety he was. He kept shifting in his seat and he was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. "Hey, are you okay? Did you drink a couple five hour energies?" I questioned, lifting an inquisitive eyebrow. Joey was silent for a good minute before he responded. "Two letters came in today. From colleges. One from UCLA and one from Brown. A fucking Ivy League school, Shane, in Rhode Island. You were accepted, I know it. I can't keep you from Brown."

"W-what?" I stuttered, a dart of thrill running through me. What if I got in?! What if I didn't? So that's why Joey's nervous? Holy crap. Suddenly, my nerves went haywire and I found myself dropping Joey's hand just so I could ring my hands together. Those letters could make or break my future in two ways. A career and Joey. If I got into both colleges on full scholarship, i'd choose UCLA. Joey and I could remain together that way. Not many people get a full ride to Brown but I'd rather have Joey than an Ivy League college across the country. Suddenly it became too much. The air was too thick, my eyes were unfocused, and the pain was overwhelming. Joey or college, Joey or college, Joey or college. Joey saved my life. In two ways. College will give me a better life. But I wouldn't have a life without Joey. What to do, what to do, what to do? What the fuck do I do?! I love Joey... I can't leave him. Not ever. He saved my life...Three times. I won't do it. I wont do it! I can't do it!

"Shane! Look at me, focus! Can you see me? Jared, call 9-1-1!" Joey screamed, snapping his fingers in front of my face. "I'm fine, don't call 9-1-1," I muttered quickly, blinking. When did we get home? What happened? Did I have a panic attack? I placed my fingers to my cheek to feel hot tears. Yep, anxiety attack. Way to go, Shane! I was sitting, with my knees up to my chest, on our gravel driveway. Joey was sitting in front of me and my mom was leaning over me. I assumed Jacob and Jared were somewhere behind me. I sniffed, wiping my eyes. "Shane, are you okay?" My mom asked, her face full of concern. I just nodded, honestly feeling like shit. I had a terrible migraine, my emotions were everywhere, and my thoughts were at war. "Ugh, conflict." I muttered, putting a hand to my head. I was convinced my thoughts were causing my headache, the way they were changing and battling and switching and arguing. Joey, college, leaving my family, school, job, Joey, love, career, future. Everything was a bit hazy.

"Conflict?" Joey questioned as my world finally stopped spinning. I was okay. I would be okay. I calmed down, finally. "Nothing.." I shook my head as Jacob walked over, handing me a glass. "I got you some water." He said, smiling slightly. "Thanks." I said, sipping it greedily. Once the glass was empty, my brain sped up and remembered what all of this started over. /My college letters!/

I jumped up, probably way too quick because I began seeing stars, and I handed the glass back to Jacob. "Shane, calm down! I really think you should rest..." Jared said from the front porch, home phone in hand, wielding it like a weapon. "No, can't, college letters!" I said, sprinting past him and inside the house. No one followed me inside. I was glad.

The coffee table top was clear, no letters there. Making my way into the kitchen, I spied two envelopes neatly resting on top of each other on the kitchen table. I picked up the one from UCLA first. I ripped it open, my heart pounding in my ribcage. This letter predicted the outcome of my relationship with Joey. I scanned the letter quickly, my brain struggling to keep up with my reading pace and comprehend the letters on the sheet. I felt my excitement falter. I didn't get in. I wasn't upset...I mean, college wasn't my dream. But I was excited for this. But at least now I don't have to choose between University and my boyfriend. I wasn't going. The end.

I sighed, reaching for the Brown letter. If I didn't get in to UCLA, I definitely didn't get into Brown either. But...I could at least open it, right? Its not like I'll be disappointed, I saw 'denied' this whole time.

I opened this envelope slower than the other, running my fingers under the seal. Here goes nothing... I thought, slipping the letter out.

" Dear Shane,

Congratulations! It is my pleasure to offer you admission to the Class of 2018 at Brown University on a full scholarship through Pell Grant. This opportunity to join one of the most outstanding student bodies in the country comes in recognition of your academic and personal achievements. I and the other members of the Admission Committee know that you would be a valued member of the Brown community both in and out of the classroom .... "

I didn't even finish reading. I didn't have to. "I GOT INTO AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL! AND THE GOVERNMENT IS PAYING FOR IT!" I shouted, then held my breath. Was this real life?! I heard feet on tile behind me and I turned, thrusting the letter in their faces. Joey gasped, my mom's face split into a grin, and my brothers' stood with their mouth's hanging open, dumbfounded and shocked. They all looked how I felt rolled up into one. "Congratulations! Oh, honey, I love you so much!" My mom broke the silence that had settled over the room, folding me into her arms in a huge bear hug, wrinkling the acceptance letter between my fingers. I didn't mind. "Thank you! I love you so much, too." I said, a smile twitching at the corners of my lips.

This was an amazing opportunity...so why did I not feel as excited as I thought I'd be? As I pulled out of the hug with my mom and my eyes met Joey's emerald hues, I realized my dull excitement. College = No Joey.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Ayyy mates :3 So, guess what happened to me today? I've been out of school for almost two months so I've been helping out at this elementary school. And today, two third graders who were sitting right next to me on the playground got into a fist fight. Like, literally, this child had a girl by the hair, punching her fucking brains out. These are fucking nine year olds. Oh, it was so funny. And that fight caused three more among the third grade class because people chose sides. We have young thugs here in Tennessee.

Oh & hey Mara, I dunno if you still read this fan fiction, and even if you do I dunno if you read the author's notes but I just wanted to say hi, You're amazing, and I love you.♥

Thank for almost 25k reads, that's so incredible! :3 ps: sorry for the detail this chapter lacked.

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oke bhye.