Mentions of Rape, Suicide and Self Harm
"How are you feeling, Princess." I unintentionally rolled my eyes at Alex. They've all been so gentle with me since I️ told Alex about the account about a week ago. "What's wrong?"
"I'm sick of you all being gentle with me!" I sat down on the couch and took a drink that was left sitting on the coffee table, i don't know whose it was.
"I just don't want you getting more hurt than you already have been!"
"You don't know anything!" I yelled at him. "You don't know anything about how i lived my live for 14 years. Did you know I was raped? Did you know that it caused a three year self harm issue? Did you fucking know that that's what led to my anxiety attacks, being touched would give me an anxiety attack for almost 4 years? But yeah, you know how much I've been hurt."
"Who fucking touched you." Alex growled. "I'll fucking kill them, I'll kill them for all the problems they caused you and your mental health. You could've died from the self harm."
"Trust me, i know." I rolled, "Did i leave that part out."
"Stop screaming! Stop crying." I didn't realize i was screaming or crying until Alex told me to stop.
He wrapped me in a hug, i cried into his shirt. I cried over the fact I'd been raped. I cried over that fact i hurt myself for it. I cried over the anxiety it gave me. I cried over the pain it caused Alex.
"Shh, it's okay princess. I have you now." Alex kissed the top of my head and tried to calm me down. "Jack!" Alex shouted. "Get me water."
"Get your own fucking water!" Jack replied from the kitchen.
"Damnit Jack it's for Ella." Alex tried to sit me in front of him, but now I️ didn't want to let go.
"Don't let go, please." Alex nodded and continued to hold me, even though i wasn't crying.
"You're okay, okay? Here drink this. Hey look i have you, don't worry. Breathe princess."
"I'm sorry for yelling at you" i apologized, sliding out of Alex's arms and standing onto the couch.
"You didn't do anything you're okay."
"I know, but it hurts. Dad, it hurts so bad make it stop." I pressed my hands over my ears. I wanted it to stop. I wanted my head to stop telling me things are my fault. I want it to stop reminding me of what happened everytime I️ close my eyes. "Make it stop!" I️ yelled at the top of my lungs, Rian and Zack were there now.
"I can't do anything. I'm sorry. Just let me hold you for now and we can work it out, Ella Faith."
"What happened?" I️ heard Rian ask Jack, along with a whisper in reply from Jack.
"Jack go get Advil or fucking something."
Jack quickly returned and Alex made me take the medicine.
"It'll stop hurting soon." I just shook my head at him.
"It won't Alex, it will never stop hurting."
"I know. I'm sorry." Alex rocked me back and forth, his arms wrapped right around me. Jack quickly joined in on the small hug, followed by everyone else.
I slowly cried my self to sleep wrapped in a tight hug.