Rebuilding

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Once upstairs, I slipped into the shower and turned the hot water up to near boiling

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Once upstairs, I slipped into the shower and turned the hot water up to near boiling. However, I was finding it harder and harder to burn away my guilt. Instead, I was just creating a rather terrible case of dry skin on my back. Still, the heat and the steady beat of the water against my shoulders eased my muscles and instead of burning anger tightening every joint in my body, I was left with dull sorrow.

Once out of the shower, a single glance at the clock hanging on my wall was enough to pull me back together. I had an hour before check in and guests never adhered to that schedule. I practiced my breathing while I blow-drying my hair. By the time I was dressed and ready to greet guests, I had a fancy, fake smile ready upon my face.

"Are you okay?" Jordan stood at the foot of the steps, waiting beside our guest book, welcome sign, and Gina's beloved portrait. Before I could answer, he continued. "Of course, you're not okay." He shook his head, pulling his eyes from mine. "I guess, I just want to know if you'd like to talk..."

"You're interested in talking now?" I looked to the door, peering through the ornate glass which left the outside mottled and fuzzy.

"Lyn, how about we both put our swords down and leave the battlefield for a minute? I think we should start talking about a truce here. I have a feeling you might not be feeling completely..."

"They're here." I widened my smile, which I imagined looked a tad terrifying in its emptiness. "If you'll excuse me, I should go greet our guests."

"Yeah, okay," he replied with a sigh.

Jordan didn't bother trying to bring up the conversation again. He dutifully played bellhop and handled our guests' luggage. He followed me into the kitchen afterward, but we both made our dinners in silence, though I could feel the press of his worried gaze upon my back the entire time.

Once we both inhaled our dinners, we immediately went to work on baking cookies and prepping the hot cocoa station. At some point, Jordan left to get the fire started and to locate the movie for that night. Thankfully, I didn't have to do much chitchat with the guests when their focus was riveted to the television. Jordan kept to my side the entire night, but knew better than to provoke me in front of our guests. Even in the kitchen's solitude, we let the elephant in the room grow ever larger.

Then, with the movie over and most of the couples tired from a day of travel, the downstairs emptied and our oblivious guests tucked themselves into bed for a restful night's sleep.

"I think it's probably safe to talk now." Jordan looked up towards the top floor as if he could see our guests' movements from there. "I know I've been a bit of an ass lately and I'm still working through that, but if you aren't feeling sold on this deal, then..."

"Goodnight Jordan," I said after one last check of the sitting room to make sure we had cleaned everything up.

"Wait, Lyn."

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