Buong gabi akong binagabag ng detalyeng iyon. Nagpaalam lamang ako sandali kay Eonji upang sabihin na may importante akong gaawin. But the truth is, I mentally write down the timeline of everything.
I was so sure that Eonji and I never had a close encounter aside from the time I went to her mother's funeral seven years ago and four years ago, with his brother on the gym?
Alam kong mas mabuting magtanong ako sa kaniya pero I want the thrill of knowing by myself.
Alin sa dalawang the first time I met you ang tinutukoy ni Eonji? Was it seven years ago? Or four years ago?
Or was it before that? After all, lagi akong sumasama noon kay Daddy sa mga charity works na ginagawa nila including the Magandang Buhay Orphanage, which Eonji and Leo were from.
I can't wait to ask him the details tomorrow. I have so many questions to him. Kilala na ba niya ako noon pa? Even before Leo and I met on the Seige Club? Even before Leo became my dad's personal doctor six years ago? SIX YEARS AGO?!
Napahilot ako ng sentido. It's making sense now. Maybe dad knew Leo...
Oh shit!
Wala akong ibang inisip kundi iyon hangganh sa makatulugan ko na. The next morning, I woke feeling giddy. My excitement to know the truth is giving me a good feeling.
Nagimprove na rin ang pakikitingo ni daddy sa akin. He would invite me when he eats. Just like now.
"Kumain ka muna bago umalis." Anyaya niya. He continued eating after that but my happiness was too much.
Sana ay magtuluy tuloy ito. I know my dad is still soft. I wouldn't be baffles by the facáde he's showing me. He's my daddy after all.
"Yes, dad." Ang ngiti ko ay abot na yata hanggang sa langit. Nagsalin din ako ng juice para sa kaniya. I put more bacon on his plate.
Nang tiningnan niya ang ginawa ko ay sinuklian ko iyon ng matamis na ngiti. Hindi na lamang siya kumibo pagkatapos no'n pero kinain niya ang nilagay ko sa plato niya. Lalo akong napangiti.
Nauna siyang natapos kumain kaya kaagad siyang umakyat sa study niya. I can't believe how we stayed aloof with each other for four years. Siguro kasalaan ko rin dahil mula nang nakapasok ako sa The Seige Club ay doon na ako madalas.
I realized that I never really exerted an effort to make amends. We are casual but never really talking. I didn't exactly remember how I apologize to him during those four years.
And maybe Dad thought I was fine alone. I need to face my life alone. It is not always that he'll be here with me. Maybe he only wanted me to learn. Maybe he wanted me to heal for myself.
Nagpasiya akong kausapin si Daddy. I was in front of his study room when fear overpowered my system. Baka naman hindi pa siya talaga handa? But it's been so long. Maybe it's time for me to make amends. Maybe we really need to talk. Maybe it's now or never.
Tumikhim ako at kumatok ng tatlong beses. "Dad, it's me."
Pinihit ko ang seradura at unti unting naglakad papunta sa kaniya. Itinigil niya ang dapat sanang pagbabasa ng kung anong mga documents at tiningala ako.
"Dad," I'm sorry. I miss you so much. Bati na tayo, please? When will we go back to normal? I miss the old us. Don't you miss me? Forgive me for everything, daddy. I am so sorry. But no words came out.
"Yes?"
Napalunok ako sa kaba. "I wanna ask about uhm.." And then I remember Leo? Right! Tatanungin ko siya tungkol doon. What a brilliant idea to escape from apologizing, Bourey!
