AN: The Gucci thing in the previous chapter was supposed to be Louis Vuitton. Pero si Gucci kasi ang nasa isip ko. Gano'n talaga yata kapag mahal mo ang isang tao no? Kahit may iba kang kasama - kaibigan, katrabaho o pamilya man, siya pa rin ang nasa isip mo. HAHAHAHHAAHA char lang! Enjoy reading!
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I was right about me ending up sore when I said I know where will it end to Eonji. That naughty guy does whatever he likes wherever and whenever that it freaks me out sometimes.
Lumipas ang mga linggo na patuloy ang ganoong set up namin. Only that, our intimate bedroom sessions were lesser now that I really want to focus on the company. The organization's goal is my goal right now. As I've reiterated so many times, disappointing my dad is the least I want to happen.
Tuwing Sabado at Linggo na lamang kami nagkikita as per my request. Ang aking ginawang excuse ay pagod ako palagi sa trabaho. Totoo naman iyon. Maging ang opinyon ng aking ama dito ay isinama ko na bilang excuse. But a part of me knows what the real reason was.
These past few days, Eonji would cook for me only when I ask him to. Ayokong dumepende sa kaniya hangga't maari. I do not want to be attached. Ngunit nitong mga nagdaang araw ay parang kusa na akong dumedepende sa kaniya.
Gaya na lamang nang paulit ulit kong pagtingin sa aking cellphone kahit na busy ako sa paperworks. Nawawala ang concentration ko kapag nagtetext na siya. It contradicts to what my mind wants.
Kaya nagpasiya ako na kakausapin siya mamaya. I want him to temporarily away from me. Again, temporarily. Aside from him being my distraction, I want to sort out my feelings.
Will it be the same feeling without him in the picture? Will I be able to go through a day without him?
Maaring oo, mabubuhay ako nang wala siya. Pero magiging kumpleto ba? Ngayon pa lamang ay sumasakit na ang dibdib ko sa pagiisip na pansamantala ko siyang hindi makakasama.
Hindi ko alam kung ano itong inaarte ko. Natatakot ba 'ko? Natatakot ba 'ko na aminin na oo, I am starting to build feelings for him? Eonji is a playboy. He play the heart of the girls he's been with. Did he change then? Nagbago na ba siya?
Kaya ba ako natatakot? Is it because of him? Or is because of me and my past? My past that would forever be etched on my being. Something that couldn't be erase... Something disgusting.
Today is Friday. Mukhang magsisimula ko ng maging weekly quote ang Thank God It's Friday ah. I just really am glad I'll have to take a break from work. I think I need it.
Eonji will be fetching me tonight since Sabado bukas. Hanggang Linggo ay naroon ako sa kaniyang condo.
Inayos ko na ang aking mga gamit sa table. Inayos ko na rin ang aking sarili sa kaniyang pagdating. I am mentally memorizing my monologue. Baka mamaya ay kapag naglambing na siya ay magbago ang isip ko.
"Hi." Bati niya.
Pilit akong ngumiti. I saw how his expression changed. He looked worried. He knows I'm faking it! He fuckin' knows!
"Is there a problem? You don't look fine." Aniya.
Bumuntung hininga ako. If I am in my old self - the hopeless romantic girl who loves her boyfriend so much - I would say I am so 'pabebe'. I want to repeatedly slap myself, hoping that I am doing the right thing.
"I want us to talk." Panimula ko.
Tumango siya. He looked very attentive. Hindi halata na galing siya sa isang operasyon.
"I'm listening." Aniya.
"I want to take a break from our... I don't know what to call this... Hm, relationship? Fuck buddies? Yes?" Pagak akong tumawa, hoping to lighten up the mood.
