A Blue Prince to Own

Chapter 14

Several apology gifts are bestowed upon me and I'm pretty unimpressed with the lot of them. Gold jewelry, big feasts, and fancy clothes. Does he think it'll be that easy?

The one that wraps a red hand around my blue heart is the only one that lives.

A little grey kitten with huge green eyes, three of them. She doesn't seem to like me very much, bites my hand with her tiny kitten fangs, paws at me with little cat toes that don't have claws, and stays as far away as humanly (kittenly?) possible from me when she isn't hell bent on my destruction. But, when night falls, there's a warmth against my chest and a tiny nose sniffing at my face before purring radiates from a tiny body cuddled close to me.

Somehow, I start to get attached to her as the quintessence withdrawal begins to mess with both my mind and my body.

The restless sleep shows clear in my face and I haven't been able to eat, all forms of appetite vanishing. Even if I do eat, it doesn't usually stay down for long. The thought of food makes my stomach hurt. It all tastes like mud now. Lotor keeps apologizing and promising that it will all pass soon enough, but my thoughts keep getting darker, my mood keeps sinking lower and the purple isn't slinking away from my insides. When I run a finger over the edges of my teeth, it comes away red and pulsing with hot pain.

As much as Lotor loves me, I know it's too late for this to be undone and I'm just not sure if I can forgive that. Even if I tell him so, he loves me endlessly and unconditionally, which hurts more than my hunger pains. He tells me he understands if I'd like to go away. I'm feeling less human than ever, as I reflect on the awful ways I've behaved. The downright nasty things I said to my teammates. Was it the quintessence, or was it an amplifier of the bottled up emotions that already existed, that I'd kicked beneath the rug so easily, just thinking it was more sadness I shouldn't show? Everything's... confusing.

"My love," Lotor says as I sit at the table, not even glancing at my meal (the one I'd requested, it just doesn't look good anymore), "I... Please eat."

My stomach growls and I try a sip of some red space juice and my entire tongue erodes. I grimace. "I'm trying. It hurts. If it was my choice, you know I would." I smile and it feels forced. "I'm tired."

God, I'm so tired.

"... Very well." He says, shoulders slumping in a defeated way I'm just not used to. "I dread that you're falling into a state worse than that of the one you were in at the castle of lions. I know I have no one to blame but myself, I just... wish I knew how to fix my mistakes."

"Hey, it'll work itself out, like you said. It'll just take time." Deep down, I know I won't ever be fully myself again. How can someone this knotted up ever become untangled? "Don't worry about me so much, Princey. I'm livin' like a king here! I'm just a little sick."

Except, my sickness is much more serious than the cold or the flu. It's trickling into my brain and distorting everything. Dreams play on repeat over and over of horrifying scenes, of red on my hands and a stomach that's full of something gruesome. Hammy follows me around obediently around week five of my slow decay and she doesn't bite me as much as she used to. Maybe she senses that my demise is near and is treating me a little better because of it. Or maybe it's because I let her eat off my plate now.

We're going to meet with some leader of some nation that Lotor has been in alliance with since the beginning of this grim war. Voltron and the Blade of Marmora has been believed to be frequenting this planet for supplies, information and to flush out the Galra soldiers stationed there. My head is foggy, so I don't understand the details. Lotor says they're traitors, and as his second, I'm obligated to at least come along. Sucks I got too sick to continue learning about the Galra Empire. I was getting pretty good at the job I'd demanded.