Walk All Over You

Chapter Sixty-Eight

"N-N-Nik, I-I." I stutter, my face growing hot and the tears now rushing down my cheeks. This was harder than I anticipated it to be. Even if I knew if was going to be difficult.

"Shh." He cooed, instantly pulling me into his chest, his arms securely wrapping around me. "I know, I know." He murmurs. I held onto Nikki tight, afraid to let go. But regardless, I was letting ago whether I liked it or not.

"Nik. I-I lo-" I gulp, I couldn't talk nor was breathing an easy task. It was as if my body was trying it's hardest to try and make things twice as difficult. Like it was laughing in my face.

"Sue, I know you do. I love you too." Nikki's hand combed through my hair as he held me in his embrace. I continued to sob against his chest, I was more than heartbroken. It felt like someone had cut a hole into my chest and ripped my heart out, before me. The feeling of pain surging through my chest, the gasping for air, it felt like I was dying. Suffocating on my death bed. In all honesty, I'd rather die than to tell him this.

"I'm go-go-going-" I hiccupped. Nikki never replied, not a word was spoken. I wasn't sure whether he had understood what I was attempting to say, or whether it was all just jumbled nonsense. Feeling Nikki let go of me, I slowly lifted myself away from him, barely able to see the expression on his face. I knew what I needed to say, but I couldn't spit it out. Talking was already hard enough in the emotional state I was in.

Okay just breathe. You need to calm down, you need to use your words. Not smother him with your salty tears. Tell him.

Inhaling again, trying to calm down. I began to wipe away my tears with the back of my hands. I probably looked like a child trying to wipe away her tears after falling over and skinning her toe. Still hiccupping with a clearer vision, I made eye contact with Nikki. He was just staring at me, no expression nor any emotions looking to go through him. I didn't know what to think, did he comprehend what I said? Maybe he didn't and was trying to.

"Nikki." I breathe. I had calmed down dramatically within the last few minutes. "I've come to tell you, I decided it was best that-" Nikki waved me off before leaving me sitting alone on the bed.

"I heard you the first time." Nikki mumbles. He had his back to me, as he forcefully ran his hands through his messy hair. I kept quiet, I didn't know what else I was meant to say. There was nothing I could say that would improve the situation. There wasn't any words that could make this better.

Instead, I continued to sit there. The tears continuing to fall from my eyes. Gosh this hurt like a fucking bitch. Why couldn't it be easy?

"Nikki, please say something." I murmur, my eyes never leaving his back. Still Nikki kept quiet, not a peep coming from him. I looked away from Nikki and back down to my hands, they were trembling in my lap.

"Nik, just so you know. I love you, but you and I both know this was coming." My voice was once again unsteady, I was going to bawl my eyes out.

Still, not a word came from Nikki. He was dead silent, still in the same position he was before. Did he not care? Did he have nothing to say? I couldn't just sit there and watch him ignore me, watch him turn his back to me.

"I'm sorry Nik." I say raising to my feet, my knees felt like they would give way at any moment. "I should go, looks like I've passed my welcome." I mumble, just passing him.

"We are having a get-together tonight and tomorrow arvo. Just so you know." I rest my hand onto the doorknob and stare at the back of the door. I could feel the annoyance spark in me. I had come here to tell him what was going on and he couldn't say anything? No way.

"Are you really going to say nothing? Not one word at all? For a man with many words, that's fucking shocking Nikki." I turn around, pressing my back against the door. Again Nikki wasn't looking at me. His body was, but he had his head turned, as if I was too disgusting to look at.