Blind Love

5

I woke up at around 3 this morning to my phone’s alarm ringing like mad, “Salve?” “hey, Toms” “Shawn? Et 3 mane (Shawn? It's 3 in the morning).” I say, I'm so tired and Mr. Black, my teacher, has an algebra test for us today. “can we meet?”

Eh? Wha-what happened? I'm too freaking tired! To be negative!

 

Serves you right!

“Yeah, where?” “De parcoacross ielā tuam, et Im non iam, iustus te exspectat (The park across your street, and I'm already there, just waiting for you,)” “k” I get out of bed and put on a long sweater, the boy doesn’t need to see my boxers.

******

“Salve.” I say as Shawn takes my hand and leads me to a bench, “do you remember this place?” Shawn asks holding my hand, it's so cold, but I remember what happened here, like it was yesterday, “you stole my first kiss here,” I giggled, “yea, you were so happy that I kissed you back,” “that was you, Shawn.”

I wrap my arms around me, “can we go inside, I'm freezing,” I ask, I think I was turning blue, “yeah, sure,” he says, we walk inside and up to my room, “it's still pink,” he says under his breath. “ha-ha-ha,” I say sarcastically, I wish he could see me roll my eyes.

We sit on my bed, “I'm still… um…” Shawn says holding my hand, “still what? Shawn?” I ask pulling my hand away, “still not over me? Still dating...” I spit, the only reason Shawn and I decided to ‘stay friends’ was because he cheated on me with a girl named Scarlett, Shawn kept it a secret, I only found out 3 weeks AFTER we ‘broke up’ “I still like you,” he says, I can’t believe the nerve on this boy. “Shawn. Get. Out. Now.” I say trying to keep calm.

I wish I could see. I would’ve punched him so hard he wouldn’t be able to see for weeks. He would be as blind as me.

 

I hear the door close. Is it too late?

No.

 

“Shawn, wait.” I shout exiting my room and chasing after Shawn, “What Tom? Wanna tell me I'm a worthless good-for-nothing scum bag too?” he spits sarcastically. I hear the hurt in his voice.

You're with Grayson, Tomma, don’t.

 

“I just wanted to say that, I know in you, you know it's not right. I with Grayson, I'm his.” I say to Shawn, he stays silent, he was never the quiet one, “Sorry Shawn,” I say, “goodbye Tomma.” He said, and I walked back to my room.

******

“And I will always have Grayson.” My phone blares through my room as Grayson calls me, he gave me a new ringtone, great, “Salve, Grayson.” I say, I haven’t slept much after Shawn and I had that fight, it's all my fault, I never should have thought Scarlett would be back in my life, “Hi Toms, you want to go out t’day?” Grayson asks, “got school, ya lousy potato.” I chuckle. Grayson is one of the only people I know who understands my humour.

Not being able to see my potato is T-O-R-T-U-R-E!! It's not the fact that I can’t physically see his face or his body towering over me, it's the fact I can’t drive over to his house during the day to surprise him or that I can’t dial in his number without my family knowing, I can’t send him cute little texts during the day saying you’re a kawaii potato or I love you :3. Instead the time we spend with each other is talking.

What about kissing??

We aren’t ready, yet. “Toms, it's Shawn, he's come to…pick you up?” Kyle calls from downstairs, pick me up?

“salve Tomma,” Shawn says as I walk downstairs, “you ready?” he asks, he's already looped my arm through his. “f-for what exactly?” I ask. His grip is loose, he's afraid, “I need to talk, and I was going to take you to Burger King, for a whopper.”

You're a sucker for Burger King. It's a shame really.

 

“OK we’re here,” he says as he pulls up to the Burger King near his house. When he stops neither one of us get out, we just sit there in the car. “audi ego paenitet. (listen I'm sorry.)” I tell Shawn, “me too. I went overboard, so did you, but we can both agree, I overreacted.” Shawn was right, we both overreacted.

******

The rain, thunder and lightning was raging outside, I know it's childish, but I'm scared of the thunder, ever since my father died, the lightning and thunder made me afraid, even before he died, I was still cautious, but dad would hold me and I would fall asleep, unafraid. But those days are gone.

“but those days are gone, now the memories on the walls,”called my phone, Cameron was calling, she knows about my deepest, darkest fears, “Salve, Cam.” “are you OK?” a voice franticly asks, Grayson, “yes I'm fine, how did you--?“ “Cameron told me.” He answers, “gratias ago tibi, Gray, for worrying.”

I think you love that boy.

 

I think you're right. But it's too soon to tell him.

True.

 

“no problem. Can we meet, I’ll pick you up tomorrow sometime.” He whispers into the phone, “pick me up at the school at 4, I have therapy with Doc. Black after school,” “OK” he says, “bye” and hangs up, Doctor Towers is the school therapist, she is sweet, and helps the few of us with physical and mental disabilities get on track with everyone else.

******

“good afternoon Mrs. McKnight.  How are you today?” Doctor Towers asks as I enter her room, “salve doc. I'm good. You?” I ask as I sit at my usual place on the chair, Doctor Towers tries to make it easy for all of us, she makes sure every one of us have a chair we feel comfy on and always has a beverage for us.

Doctor Towers accommodates everything. She studied therapy for 4 years, and no, I don’t actually go to therapy, Doctor Towers is my one companion in this school of deranged lunatics and deeply troubled teens. Even if I don’t have an appointment for that day, she’ll listen to my problems or anything that might be on my mind.

******

Grayson's car hoots near the sidewalk, I get into his car and he drives off, “how did you know this was my car?” he asks, “you’re the only one I know that has a car that I suspect is a Lambo? Yeah, well no one in this car is allowed to drive a car, either because we’re blind or deeply deranged.” I laugh, although it's true.

Grayson drives me somewhere… familiar, “we have arrived,” he says opening my door, the smell of cherry blossoms fills my senses, “the hospital park” I say, Grayson doesn’t even ask how I know where we are, he already knows.

“I wanted to talk to you,”

Oh boy, here it goes….

A/n at least this was longer. Also sorry for the cliffhanger (kinda) <3