On Our Own

Chapter 30

To be completely honest, I never thought I'd even make it here. I thought life would go on and I would just be another tiny person on this earth, I didn't think I mattered.

But standing in front of the mirror, watching Molly do my hair, I smiled, life couldn't be better. I was happy and my blue eyes never looked more cheerful. It was the little things, the things you didn't appreciate, they built up day by day and it made me feel alive again.

I watched as Liam zipped up Nina's dress, as Jack and Matt fought over the television remote, as Monica and Jess chatted with Chloe and Grayson. Things were working out. Slowly but surely, things were getting better.

I looked over at the Christmas tree. We had gotten it a tad preemptively. However Jack and Matt insisted, so even though Thanksgiving had just passed, we bought one. It was crooked, but it fit the room perfectly.

When Molly was done with my hair I looked at myself in the mirror, my long silver hair was in a loose fishtail, and my black long-sleeved dress went down to my knees. The doorbell rang and I went to open it.

I grinned when I saw Ethan.

"Hey Leah, you look pretty."

I smiled, he too was dressed up in formal attire. "Hi Ethan, you're not too bad yourself."

He walked in and we sat on the couch while we waited for everyone else.

"Are you doing okay?" he asked. "You know it being your neighbor's funeral and all."

"Yeah," I said softly. "You know Kristen called it something else. A memorial service. She said that her mom wouldn't have wanted us to grieve at a funeral so soon after her death, but rather remember her fondly a week or two later."

Ethan nodded. "No tears today then?"

I leaned on him as he put his arm around me. "No tears," I repeated.

I felt his phone buzz from his jacket pocket. I got up so he could answer it but he just ignored it.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

Ethan didn't reply, he just played with the bracelet on my wrist. I watched his fingers graze a scar on the side of my hand from a cooking mishap a few summers ago.

"Did something happen?" I asked softly.

"Just my parents," he finally murmured.

I nodded and rested my head back on him. I held his hand, I decided the best thing I could do was just be there for him. I could feel Ethan's breathing ease up and he calmed down.

"Thanks," he said

"Of course," I whispered.

"They'll never understand," he whispered. "I'll never be what they want me to be."

"Good. You should be who you want to be."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I know that deep down, it just sucks to hear how disappointed they are in me."

"They're the disappointments, Ethan," I said gently as I shifted and held him in my arms. "They're the ones who have no idea how special you are. "They don't deserve you."

After a moment or two, he slowly began to smile. 

"You know who does?" he asked.

"Kyle?" I asked back, giving him a knowing smile.

He grinned. "Well they're really short, they have fading silver hair with a shaved spot they're desperately trying to hide, they're seventeen, and pretty, and gorgeous, and special," he went on and on.