Mae and The Doctor

24 - A Scared Heroine

"But only," he continues in the shocked silence, "if you free these men, and let Mae and the Doctor go."

Again, Sarah considers. The words I want to say stick to the sides of my throat like honey; the words that I want to cry out are hidden like a scared child. Finally, Sarah speaks up, scrunching her nose slightly.

"No," she says, "but thank you for volunteering." Her mouth twists into a smile as she turns from Sherlock to me. Sarah raises her hand, and I fling both of my arms up in defense.

"No," I shout, "please! Just... just free the Doctor, and I'll give you what you want," I plead with her.

She stomps her foot in anger, putting her hands to her sides in fists. "No! Why must you always try to negotiate with me?" Her bottom lip pokes out in a pout, and she crosses her arms, turning to walk away. "I need to go calm down with some tea," she says as she leaves. I stare after her in silence.

Suddenly, I snap out of my trance and spin around to face Sherlock.

"Why the hell did you do that?" I ask, stepping very close to him. He glares down at me.

"No matter how much I hate you," he starts, "I don't want to see you die."

"If you don't want me dead, then you don't hate me," I retort. "The definition of hate is wanting that thing you hate dead; you don't hate me." I manage to hold back a smirk. He just rolls his eyes.

"Fine," he says monotonously. "Like you did a better job." His sarcasm rams into my heart like a wrecking ball.

"Excuse me?" I take a small step back; I'm ready to swing a punch. "I offered to save your life, and you're here telling me that you suggesting you marry someone is a more heroic act than what I did? I was willing to die for you and a bunch of fucking strangers," I say, my voice rising with anger in the end. "I was going to die for you, all the while believing that you wanted it to be that way." Now I'm shouting, and my voice echoes slightly off of the ice walls.

"It's not like that," Sherlock says, keeping his eyes anywhere but on me.

"It's not?" I ask, screaming still. "You expect me to believe it's not exactly how it is?"

I swing my fist up to his face, his head snapping sideways sharply. "Mae," someone screams behind me. Identifying the voice as John, I turn around. Is he really defending him?

"What?" I spit at him.

"You - the both of you - are missing the point," he says sternly. "How are we getting out of this?"

Sherlock cuts in, "I'm going to marry her, that's how."

"No," I say, as calmly as I can, but I'm still sort of shouting. "You aren't marrying her; that's preposterous. I'm taking the bullet; I'm dying for your safety - for everyone's safety."

"But you're scared," Sherlock says, snarling. He moves his neck out so his face is closer to mine. "What's a scared hero to anyone, huh?"

By this point, I'm dangerously close to tears. I take a shaky breath, not knowing what to say. There's silence. "I just want the Doctor back," I whisper, speaking past the lump in my throat. I feel tears spilling out onto my cheeks, and I hide my face with my hands. After a moment, I hear a voice call out behind me again.

"Mae," John says quietly. I turn around, wiping my cheeks. "You can do this. You're half Holmes, for God's sake." He smiles at me. Then he glances to Sherlock for support; I look to him, too.

Sherlock manages to flash me a quick smile. "I'm not objecting," he says. I laugh at him. And that's all I needed - a cry, a laugh, and some motivation from friends.

"I know how to get you guys out," I say, staring around the wide circular room; a lot of the men look like they've been here for years. Suddenly, I feel more confident than before. "I'm going to lead a mutiny."