Mean for You (Mean #1) (PUBLISHED UNDER PSICOM)

Chapter Eleven

Nagkulong ako sa loob ng kwarto ko for a day. Luckily, tumigil na ako sa pag-iyak. Maybe my eyes finally ran out of water. Or maybe my brain decided that it’s not worth it. I scoffed.

No man is every worthy of my tears.

Except him.

“Damn!” nahagis ko ng wala sa oras ang hawak kong ipod. Tumama ito sa pader at bumagsak sa sahig. I clenched my jaw and glared at the ruined piece of metal. Nakita ko na basag na ang screen. Great! Yun na nga lang ang pinagkakaabalahan ko, sinira ko pa. Pagkatapos kong humiwalay sa pagkakayakap kay Rush (yuck), umalis na ako ng party nang hindi nagpapaalam. Si Rush na ang naghatid sa akin sa bahay. He wanted to stay dahil wala daw akong kasama sa bahay but that’s not really true dahil nandoon naman ang ilang maids at si manong guard. Rush frowned upon that pero hindi na siya kumontra at umalis na lang.

That night, I wished so hard na sana, pumunta si Grant sa bahay at sabihin sa akin na binabawi niya ang sinabi niya nung gabing iyon. I never regret asking him that question, the only thing that I regret doing that night is crying in front of them.

Showing your tears are like showing your weaknesses. At ayaw ko sa lahat, pinapakita sa ibang tao na mahina ako. Kahit na si Grant pa yan. I don’t want to be remembered as the person who cries dahil lang sa isang bagay, dahil lang nasaktan siya.

I wasn’t made to cry over pathetic things. I’d be lying if I say it didn’t hurt, that it was just pathetic–pero I’d rather lie kaysa aminin na nasaktan talaga ako.

Ngayon, naisipan kong hindi pumasok. My parents tried to get in my room but I stole the spare keys from Dad’s office in our house kaya hindi nila iyon mabuksan-buksan. Hindi ko naramdaman ang presence ng magpinsang De la Fuente for a day, and I felt… light. Being alone didn’t do well on me, it only made me feel twice terrible than I already was.

Kahit na galit na galit ako sa kanya, hindi ko pa rin maiwasan na ma-miss siya. I sighed.

My phone rang, disturbing the silence inside my room. My bitch friends have been trying to contact me since the other night but I never accepted their call. Hindi ko naman pinapatay ang mobile ko because I love the attention. I’m a bitch who loves it when people tumbles around, worrying how I’m doing. I never said I was nice in the first place.

It was Scarlet. I thought of declining the call but I suddenly felt like going to the mall.

“OMG! Maxie! I’m so glad you answered!!” sigaw ni Scarlet sa kabilang linya at napangiwi naman ako sa sobrang lakas ng boses niya. “We’ve been trying to call you since… the other night!! We thought something bad happened to you!”

With a sigh, I massaged my left temple. Wala pang ilang segundo simula nang sagutin ko ang phone ay naii-stress na agad ako. I’m starting to think that answering her call was a terrible decision. “Scarlet.”

“Yes Maxie?”

“Shut. Up.” I gritted the words through my teeth and the other line turned quiet. I let out a deep breath and faked a grin for my own benefit. “I’ll meet you at the mall, bring the girls along. I’ll be in the sweetea. Don’t make me wait.” my eyes squinted at the last part and I can almost imagine Scarlet nodding frantically. I immediately ended the call because that’s what I normally do.