If twilight characters texted each other

Kicked out of Hogwarts.

I get kicked out of Hogwarts on my first day because I stalked James Potter, begging him to tell me where he lives.

James: Mate, you need to back off before I call the bloody cops on you!
Me: You don't understand! I need to meet your dad!
James: HELP!
Batman: Okay, @The_Clever_Author, time to go home. *Gently tugs my arm.
Me: *Sobbing* But this is home!
Batman: We'll go live in the BatCave.
Me: Okay... *Sobs more
Alice: Hey g- What happened!
Me: I got expelled!
Alice: Awe, girl, I'm sorry. Do you want to come live with us?
Batman: Uh- *looks very frightened
Me: YES!
Edward: NO!
Me: EDWARD?!? YOU CAME ALL THIS WAY?!?
Edward: UH- I- ER-
Me: YOU DO CARE!
Me: But it's too late for you.
Me: Batman loves me, and I love him. Right Batman?
Batman: YES!
Edward: Someone actually likes you? Wow!
Alice: EDWARD! THAT'S SO RUDE!
Me: *tears up a little* not usually.
Me: Batman's my first actual boyfriend...
Edward: HAH!
Me: *sobs uncontrollably
Alice: C'mere, it's okay. You're okay.
Me: Thanks Alice.
Me: GO SCREW YOURSELF EDWARD!
Me: GO!
Edward: FINE BY ME!