Edward: Hello, dog. I need you to keep an eye on Nessie while I go hunting with Bella.
Jacob: Leech, how'd you get my number?😡
Edward: I looked in Bella's contacts.
Jacob: Isn't that kinda of creepy?😐
Edward: ARE YOU WATCHING NESSIE OR NOT?!?
Jacob: Lol, chill. Fine, but how come you don't take her with you?
Edward: I hate you. I'll drop her off at nine thirty sharp.
Jacob: Where? Oh, how about on the corner by the high school?
Edward: You know what? I'll ask Charlie.
Jacob: Omg, I hate you. How is Nessie even related to you?!?
Edward: That's the last time I ask you to watch Nessie...