Dragon Dreams

Chapter 19: Left Unsaid (2/3)

He tumbled out the back door a few moments later and wasted no time climbing onto my back. Entering the forest, I took us toward the river, purposefully avoiding the spot where I slaughtered the deer. We mostly let nature do the talking as we walked. At the first, brittle-sounding footfall on the rocky river's edge, I stopped and simply enjoyed the view of the currents rushing by. It felt as if my worries were retreating bit by bit to travel far away in the river's flow. Wes hopped down and started scanning the ground for rocks to skip on the water. Soon we were both flinging our flat missiles across the water's surface. My paws weren't particularly well-suited for skipping stones, however, so I soon gave up and started making little rock sculptures on the ground. Wes joined in, and we passed a good bit of time sharing our improvised creations.

Finally, we did some more tree-climbing. I showed Wes my little game of launching myself out of the top and gliding down to earth. My roars and his joyous cries echoed through the late afternoon stillness. I imagined coming back out in the winter and rolling around in the snow. Wes would breathe out plumes of dragon-smoke with each breath as we walked with crunching steps through the forest. I would make us a fire to keep warm out on the cliff-top where we could watch the shortened days slip away before our eyes.

"Watch it," I told myself. "You're going a bit too far into the future. What about your own family? Surely they expect you to come back by the time winter arrives." I hadn't really allowed myself to think about this logically. I couldn't stay here forever—I couldn't do that to my family. But, up here, it was so much easier to be myself, whatever that meant. Open space, with hardly a soul around if you knew where to go. It was a place I didn't want to leave behind for a life spent trapped inside my house again.

"Josh, are you okay?"

I glanced over to see Wes standing a few feet away. I had been so lost in thought, I didn't notice him walking up to me. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said with a quick smile. "I was just looking at how long the shadows are. Maybe we should head back."

We walked back side-by-side as the thick trees cast a premature darkness over us. Wes asked me a few more questions about my upcoming trip. Where would I be going? How many other dragons were there? What kind of magic could they teach me? I did my best to answer him, but all my responses were some elaborate form of, "I don't know."

"You'll have to remember everything, so you can tell me about it. I can't wait to hear your stories!"

"I bet they won't be as good as your mom's," I replied.

"Maybe, but yours will be real."

We shared a little laugh at that. Soon, Jackie was welcoming us back with dinner already cooking. The warm, golden scent of grilled cheese brought back memories of my own mother.

"How many sandwiches do you think you could eat, Josh?" Jackie asked.

"I'll actually be fine with one."

"You sure? I have plenty of stuff to make more."

"No, thanks," I assured her. "I think I'm still full of French toast." But I knew the real reason. Still, I wanted to eat something so I didn't seem rude. I figured I could force down a single sandwich.

To my relief, she seemed to let the issue go. Moments later we were starting to eat. Jackie observed my untouched sandwich and said, "Are you a little nervous, Josh? To be going to a new place like this?"

"A little, I guess."

"When exactly do you leave?"

"Probably after dinner. Not too long now."

She raised her glass of water. "Well, let's give you a proper send-off, shall we? Here's to Josh. Wishing you a safe and fulfilling journey."

"Oh, we don't have to make a big deal about it. I'm just going to be gone for a few days; this is just temporary. I have to meet some new people—well, new dragons, I guess—and learn a bunch of new things. I'm new at this, remember? I don't know a lot of things that a dragon should know."

"You're very open and positive about this. I think you'll be just fine."

"Thanks for that. Thanks for everything." I took a bite of my grilled cheese and thought about how lucky I was. Sure, there were bad things that had happened to me, but I had seen how destructive negative thinking could be. I owed it to myself to keep a sense of perspective. Most of the time, it seemed like my own thoughts were the only thing I could control. And even those sometimes felt like they belonged to someone else.

The rest of the meal left me feeling well enough. It was bittersweet having to say goodbye to these people who welcomed me like I was no different from them. It was bittersweet, but it also gave me hope. This was a place I could come back to—a place I wanted to come back to.

I had finished helping clear the table when I looked out the window to see the light was fading fast. "Well, I should probably get going. I think I'll have a lot of flying to do."

"Come here then; don't be shy," Jackie said as she opened her arms. "And you too, Wes."

The boy hugged my waist tight as his mother gently placed her arms around my neck. She looked into my eyes—small wrinkles converged around her own blue irises as she smiled. "Be safe." It was a half-whispered command.

"I'll be in good hands—or paws, rather," I joked nervously.

"I'm still going to worry about you a little. I'm a mother; I can't help it." She sighed, then chuckled, "Wes, you can let him go now."

I lightly patted the boy's head as he released me. "You'll be good for your mom?"

He nodded vigorously. The angry cuts on his forehead flashed into view for an instant as his hair flipped out of the way. My stomach knotted as I was transported back to that terrible night. It was reassuring to see how they had moved on. "Mmm," I hummed distractedly, "good."

Jackie pointed into the other room. "What do you want to do with your bag? Are you taking anything with you?"

"I think I'll just put it out in the shed with the rest of my stuff," I said, walking over and hefting the backpack onto my shoulder. A few more steps brought me to the back door, and opening it raised an audible protest from the hinges. Evening air flowed over my scales, bringing with it the woody scent of the outdoors. I took a few steps into the yard before turning back.

Jackie leaned against the frame of the back door. "Goodbye, Josh. By the way, I hope to have this door fixed by the time you get back."

Wes gave a small wave. "Bye, Josh!" he called out.

I smiled, returning the wave. "Bye, and thanks again. I'll see you soon—and I'll bring back some stories!"

Jackie scooped the boy up into her arms and nuzzled his cheek. She looked out at me once more, fixing me with a serene gaze before closing the door. I felt a powerful surge of longing sweep through me at that last image of familial closeness. A breeze sighed around me, bringing me back into the world, and I turned away. I quickly placed my belongings next to a woodpile in the small barn and walked back out into the yard. Unsure of what to do next, I faced the expressionless wall of trees, charcoal-black against the watercolor sky.

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