A Beautiful Sin{Complete}

|7|

¥Toni¥

"Every time he is near me I am assaulted by memories
I would rather forget. His cologne will not leave my senses.
His face my dreams.
Every time we pass must we make idle conversation?
Let us be better people and pretend to watch birds singing in the trees.
At least they are happy.
Walk through me if not around me. I am more spirit now.
Men would give up completely without their delusions.
Look at me for example. Being over him is easy. I do it every day.
Till morning wanes to afternoon.
Three hours since I thought his name. Or put my head in an oven.
He passes me in the corridor wishing me well and everything aches
Greys. Falls like snow against the window pane.
I forget half the words he says, but know every inch of the warmth
He has granted me with those wide and welcome arms.
How can he be so blind? And yet so lovely.
I have seen him walk around a fly so as not to hurt it.
And yet he kills me so easily. Drowned in kisses.
Yes. Nice to see you too. You look well.
Perfection.
No I have not met someone else yet. Yes. I deserve the best.
But I do not want the best. I want him.
You think me alive? You are talking to a ghost.
Let me be, breath and I shall forgive all evils.
Leave me alone and I shall feel the warmth of the sun
Again on my cheeks.
Tomorrow I shall be free. Tomorrow he will lose his power over me.
But today is all I need. Today I will say hello.
And ask he never leave me."

I was at my youngest sister Tamar's house because I wanted to vent to her about my broken marriage. My other sisters showed up later so I had more than one shoulder to cry on.

"Tamar am I doing something wrong" I asked my youngest sibling

"Girl you ain't do nothing wrong so I don't know why you tripping like that" She responded

"Something's wrong with him" Trina said

"You think he has someone else" I asked lowly

I started tearing up just asking that question. I couldn't imagine my husband even cheating on me. I became sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

"I don't know Tone but you need to sit him down and tell him how he makes you feel maybe he will come to his senses and do a full 360 and change" Towanda said

"I don't know Umba it's like he disregards everything I say so I doubt he will even take the chance to even take my feelings into consideration" I said

"You don't know until you try Toni so try it and maybe he'll do better once you tell him" Traci said

"I miss him so much I miss the old Kenny the one that would wipe my tears whenever I cried, wrap his arms around me and tells me how much he loves me a million times a day" I said crying

"Don't cry Tone it'll get better." Trina cooed

"Listen, you're the strongest person I know alright so I know you'll get through this even if things don't go the way you want them to just know you got four sisters by your side" Tamar said

"She's right" Towanda, Traci and Trina said

"I love you guys so much" I said going to hug them

"We love you too now go on home to your man and please try what we said and if he comes around try to work it out with him and save your marriage but if he shows that he doesn't even care you know what to do" Traci said

"Alright bye guys... I love you" I said leaving.

God I hope this works.