Sigil of Humanity - The Everyday Life of Satan and Friends

A Day in the Life (Glorified Filler)

How exactly do the occultist, the goth, and the kindly demon live out there lives? Well, do you want to know what they're doing right now? I'm no Malphas, but I can try. Let's see... well, there's Beleth; he's sitting in his room, on the edge of his bed. There's Malphas, next to him. And roaming the room is Mephistopheles.

The King of Shadows paced about the room, daydreaming of a normal life. He broke the quiet atmosphere of Beru's studies by asking Malphas a sudden question. "Malphas! We don't talk much! What would you do if you had an alternate life as a human?"

"I'd pretend to be a demon," he said, "It's just too boring. Isn't this why we joined Lucifer in the first place?" Mephisto hung from the ceiling. "Yeah, humans suck. Right, Beleth?" The demon in question was speeding through his homework. "I told you not to call me that in public," he said without even looking up at him.

The gothic devil shut the window. "Public? What public? I have just a slight suspicion that you actually like humans." Malphas suddenly sat up as he exclaimed, "Woah, dude! I know angels can pretend to care about humanity, but really liking those things? That's just crazy." Beru calmly answered, "No, he's right. I think of humans as no lesser than us three." Malphas flinched as if his friend had charged at him.

Smirking, Mephistopheles shared his opinion, "Personally, I only use humans to get what I want. After all, our time is short before we're cast off into the Lake of Fire." He made a cartoon sound effect with his mouth, moving a hand-symbol of a demon onto his empty palm. "So long!" he said in a tiny voice.

Malphas was thinking as Mephisto put on his little act. He then nodded, standing up. He talked with his hands as he proposed, "But we all like to use humans, right? We'd never help them out, but we entertain their fantasies." He pointed across the street.

"Take Satan for example," he said, "How many wives has the Demon Lord had over the past millennium?" Mephy nodded, shaking by the chain of the ceiling fan. "Good point, old crow. Then again, is that real care? We're not pleasuring them for the sake of humanity. We do it for our own personal gain."

"But my relations are much deeper than that," added Beru. Malphas was impatient. He placed his hands on his hips as he retorted, "Well you're just untouchable, then. You're too good for our reasoning, huh?" Beleth closed his notebook, finishing with, "Mephisto was right one hundred percent. I guess you could say I have... feelings for these humans."

Malphas gasped. "Dude, does this mean Kasumi is your..."

Kasumi was sitting in the corner, not understanding any of their supernatural rants. "So that's why you brought me here?" Mephistopheles morphed into her image through shadows, turning to Beleth. "Come on, Beru. Don't you have feelings for me?" he mocked in her appearance.

Beleth twitched. At seeing this slight maneuver, Malphas decided to do something he always wanted to do. "Grand Duke Beleth is in love with a human!" The duke immediately denied such claims. "I wouldn't sink so low to be infatuated with one of these people."

"It all makes sense now," Malphas said with pure bliss, "That's why you were so nice to her." Beleth was forced eventually to raise his voice, "I said I had feelings for humans, not anyone in particular!"

Laughing hard at Beleth's ridiculous affinity for humans, Mephistopheles fell from his perch, landing on the floor with a loud slam. Rubbing his bruised haunch, he hushed the room. They listened carefully for a full minute, but no one heard a voice from downstairs. Kasumi checked the time in this moment of requiem. "It's getting rather late. I think I should leave."

Malphas pointed towards the window. "Same way you came in." She descended along the chain of tied cloths, eventually landing on the sidewalk. Waving, the occultist sprinted for home.