3005 ; changki ◑

si|xteen

song: Fireproof by One Direction
(aka the only 1D song I actually liked)

Im Changkyun

The room was silent, apart from the sounds of the video game, aggressive jabs at the remote buttons and Jooheon's heavy breathing. I kept myself propped up on the bed by my elbows, pressing the buttons without needing to look at them, eyes squared on the TV. The small timer at the top signalled that the match had come to an end, and I just had my ass mildly served-

"On a silver platter following a slow roast," my best friend chuckled weakly, unscrewing a water bottle. "it's been what, two weeks? And you've lost your technique already."

"You won by sheer luck and my mercy, if I hadn't sneezed or felt bad for your situation I would have won." I fell back on the bed, sighing.

"Gosh, I had my appendix removed not my leg amputated."
At that moment, the bedroom fell back into the comfortable silence we'd grown to love, to the point even Jooheon's breathing wasn't audible. The only thing I could hear was the voice in my head, reminding me of the last two days.

"One more game?"

"Fuck yeah," I bolted upright, beginning to pick football players & positions. Neither of us spoke until the game started; it was only then that I thought it was wise to say it.

"How was it?"

"How was what?"

"You know."

"I really don't."

I looked around to him, and was met with his eyes squinted with confusion above his blanket. He wasn't even there. "Sorry, I forgot you weren't there. Never mind."

"Wait, no. What's wrong?" He pressed.

"Kihyun found out I'm not out yet, and whilst he's being super sweet about it, I feel like it's only a matter of weeks before he has enough and leaves me- yes!" I scored as the sentence came to an end, my smile quickly returning to a pout after.

"Oh," Jooheon said softly, bringing the game to an end. I groaned. "You mean how it was coming out?" I nodded. "I guess you can tell, I mean you're always with me so."

"I have to admit, it looks nice; to just be able to be yourself and not care, but that's more part of your personality rather than part of being openly gay."

"There's more to it than just that, I think. Whilst being open about it is nice and super fun to make old people speechless when you use male pronouns to describe a significant other, there is also the uglier aspects of it," I waited for him to continue, he who was staring intensely at his hands interlocked over his lap. "the sly little comments, the looks, always being known as the gay guy. And you already know how it went down with my parents."

Jooheon sleeping at my house for two whole weeks because his Mom cried whenever she saw him & his Dad and him had a screaming match each night? I remember it too well.
Those were tough times, and the saddest I had ever seen him - he'd go around moping, and it wasn't unusual to just find him in tears around the house.
Luckily his parents overcame that, and now actively support his decision.

The memory made my mind drift to my own parents; I imagined sitting them down after Youngjae had gone to bed to tell them that I was in a relationship with the most lovely guy I had ever met, and that this decision had turned my life for the better.
My Dad would clap me on the back with a pleased smile; it was very much of him to do so.