My Random Fire Emblem things!

Thoughts on @DWN024ShadowMan's FE Gem!AU

DWN024ShadowMan,
I'm sorry I can't put my full input in it, since I've never seen, or heard, of Steven Universe until now. I took a peek at the Wiki and looked around a bit, so I have a... basic idea? I'm afraid I can only remark on the writing style and grammar and give tips to how you might improve it.

1. Context:
It's mainly my problem, since I don't know much about the show, but through Chapters 1-3, I had no idea where the characters were, and had to guess their relationships with each other. It'd be nice to have a little more background info on the main 4 (Sharena, Alphonse, Bruno, and Veronica). Maybe clues to how old they are; are they the same age as in Heroes, or younger/older? And, where are they going? What's their goal?

2. Descriptions/Character:
It's easier to picture the Heroes cast since I've played the game before, but a lot of what's going on is dialogue. While helpful to the plot, more descriptions would help point out smaller and more specific things about the characters (i.e. habits, the way they dress, gait, etc.). Descriptions would also be nice for the setting.

3. Grammar:
I'd rate your grammar a 9.3/10; altogether, very good, but you tend miss a few commas, and, this is picky, but when using "...", make sure to use only three periods and not 4-5. As I said, it's picky, so don't worry too much about that. One more thing to work on is to make sure not to be repetitive with words, stay in past/present tense, etc.

4. "Hooking" the reader:
In order to get your readers to want to read more, you need a good hook/pick-up line (lol). Going back to descriptions and context, a good amount of these can help lead the reader into your story. It'd be boring if all you read was just dialogue, right?

Overall:
Overall, this was really nice! Just work on the things I mentioned, and I think it'll be a success!