After ten years...

Why?

A few weeks later I was on my way to figure out if the child in my stomach was a boy or girl with my son and mum. Without my husband, without him because he was dead.

   I had found out someone had turned off the heart monitor, the only thing keeping him alive and the nurse had told me Taya and Sarah were the last to visit but why would my friends do it? They wouldn't, would they?

   I headed to the hospital with Evan and my mum and we were taken to the room where I was examined and we found out it was a girl but I couldn't be happy for long, not now that my daughter won't have a dad.

   We went home and I threw myself into caring for my son, dog and most of all, myself. I couldn't go back to drowning my sorrows in self harm, I won't allow it. It took over my teenage years but I won't let it take over again. After the housework and dog walking I did the only thing I could and called Connor's parents so we could start funeral planning, the news hit them hard too.

   They came round and we started the planning.

*Sarah's P.O.S*

“We did it for her" I said, “if we hadn't he would still be hurting and controlling her"

“It was wrong, we shouldn't of. Look at her, she's in turmoil. She has an unborn child without a father" Taya sighed,

“She'll be ok, it was for the best"

*Beth's P.O.S*

We finished the planning and it was set for a week, October 25th.

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The day soon came around and I was soon on my way to the crematorium with Evan clutched to my hand.

“I'll miss daddy" he whispered, looking up at me,

“We all will" I said, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall.

   Soon we was all sat in the ceremony as Aerosmith, don't want to miss a thing played. Evan clung to my hand while my mum held my other on the other side of me.

    When it was over we went to the waking and everyone ate, spoke and reminisced on Connors life. I left to go to the toilets because it was all to much. I lost my dad and I didn't think I'd be here two and a bit years later, crying over the death of my husband.

    Eventually we all went home and I sat on the sofa with Evan cradled in my arms and Lucky at my feet. “This is my family now, I need to support them" I thought