Shine (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Six

(Alexandra Tucker)

As soon as the last of him disappears from sight, a million questions clutter my mind, all of which involve Harry. What made him leave so suddenly? Why did he seem so nervous? Why was he out walking alone at night? Why was he even being nice to me in the first place? Will he go back to being rude when I next see him? Will I even see him again?

The mass of jumbled questions bounce around in my mind as I drive the familiar route to my house. The tears have thankfully ceased to form, but now I just feel hollow and drained of everything but anguish and confusion. My makeup is smudged all over my face and I am sure I look like a complete wreck. I sure as hell feel like one.

As I slow to a stop at the top of my driveway, I use my sleeve to wipe the black from underneath my eyes to erase any evidence of my meltdown in case my parents are still awake. They shouldn't be since it is nearly midnight, but I don't want to risk having to come up with a fake story about why I was crying. Especially not to my mother.

Trying to make as little noise as possible, I carefully open the door and step inside the dimly lit house. When I reach the top of the stairs I hear my father's faint snores sounding from behind the closed door of my parents' bedroom.

Relieved, I hurry into the bathroom to wash my face before returning to my own room and flopping down on the bed. Crying seems to have tired me out even more than working the late shift has. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally drained and would like nothing more than to sleep until noon, but unfortunately I have school tomorrow.

School; where I have to see the remorseful looks on people's faces while hearing my name and Will's whispered in hushed voices while they steal nervous glances in my direction.

That is my last thought before I drift into unconsciousness for an all too short period of time before the nightmares start. They happen almost every night now, except these ones are worse, so much worse. Apparently my mind is a darker place than I imagined, because these dreams find a gruesome and different way for Will to die each time that is always worse than the last. The most troubling thing about these nightmares, however, is that I can't convince myself he is alive when I wake up. I have to actually consider the possibility that what I dreamt might have been the cruel way he actually perished, and that is so much more disturbing to me.

Also, I don't scream anymore. No one can tell when I am trapped in the cruel workings of my own mind, I just lie there, paralyzed with fear. I know this because my father thinks I have stopped having nightmares altogether, and he was so happy to finally have something positive happen that I couldn't find it in me to correct him.

-

(May 17th)

"Miss Tucker."

A voice registers in my mind, along with a subtle nudge from Regan who is sitting beside me during our last agonizing class of the Friday. I lift my head just enough to see Mrs. Pollander peering at me over the top of her glasses, awaiting my response to an unknown question.

"On what day are the final exams?" she repeats, assuming that I will be totally clueless. The joke's on her though. Sure enough, Regan's foot stomps lightly on mine twice, pauses, and then once more. I face our educator with the fakest smile I can muster before I answer the demeaning and somewhat rhetorical question.

"May twenty-first," I answer, watching as her smug expression falters at my correct response. When Mrs. Pollander turns her back to write something on the board, Regan offers me a smirk that I return, along with a whispered 'thank you'.

When the bell finally rings, I jump up from my seat and rush out of class with my bag slung over my right shoulder. I am going to see Mike today, something I am actually very excited about. I haven't seen my brother since the night of the frat party, but even then our interaction was minimal since I left so early.