Pain 2: Him (H.S)

Chapter 1

Her stomach has gotten big, huge actually but she has that pregnant lady glow. She's so beautiful and happy and though Alan doesn't pay attention to me anymore, he gives her the world everyday; more than the day before. He shows so much love to her, gives her everything she needs, and I've honestly never seen him so happy. All in one week, crazy isn't it? The day we break up the world suddenly becomes happy. Me excluded.

The only day that I didn't feel like complete shit was on Saturday when I ran into Zayn at the mall. I swear, I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life. I think because I was walking around with fake smiles for so long I just couldn't hold it in anymore. He noticed something was wrong when he waited at the parking lot with me. It was dark and quiet and one thing led to another and we got into the topic of happiness. He told me everything with his girlfriend Julianna was going great, college was treating him well, and he even mentioned Ava. She's apparently at some nut house because she attempted suicide more than three times and turned to self harm. He said she kept taking pills and went through depression and that was the only way she could receive help. I want to feel bad for her, I really do but she brought that all upon herself. But I truly do hope she gets better. I hope the world treats her with kindness, the complete opposite of how she treated me, and I just hope the real world is nice to her. But Zayn's full of life. He always were but I never paid much attention to him, but he's so happy it warms my heart. His smile has gotten bigger, his eyes are more full and he's looking great.

We sat on the curb waiting and he just went on and on about how happy he was and how he has so much planned for the future and it just broke me down because he has everything I want. He hugged me and was there for me, telling me everything was going to be okay and that, "you'll find someone who will love you and never lie to you. You deserve better, I mean look at you. You're fucking beautiful and your heart is so rare. Trust me, he'll come along and when he does, he'll be the luckiest guy in the world." Word for word, that's what he told me. Zayn. Of all people. This guy used to torture me when I was younger. We fought all the time, we used to mess with each other and call each others names yet there he was, telling me how beautiful and worthy I am. Can all guys be like Zayn? I think the world would be a much better place.

Louis hasn't contacted me since. I don't even think he cares anymore now that we've broken up but I'm still worried he might sneak up on me. There's no reason to, but for some reason I won't care if he does. What do I have to lose? Is there even anything worth living for now that the only life in me has left? I don't think so, I'm far too broken to be fixed and I don't think it's worth it anymore. I don't know where Liam is or what he's been doing and though he did me wrong, I hope he one day gets better. Deep down, deep deep down inside, he's a nice person. He just got caught up with the wrong things and destroyed himself. I hope one day he realises that and changes; for himself at least.

This auditorium is full of chattering students just like every Tuesday when we have assembly, and principal Laveck is waiting impatiently along with the other teachers for us all to simmer down to one voice. The floor seats are split into two sections and I'm on the far left as Harry sit on the far right. Even with all of these people here, I can still see him from the corner of my eye. Everyone is a blur but him. For the first time in a long time, he has every single piercing in. His eyebrow and lip rings are in, my favorite grey beanie rests perfectly on his head with little hairs sticking out of the bottom, his white t-shirt, tighter than usual, hugs his muscles exposing his tattoo'd arms and chest and I can't seem to look away.

"I just have one last thing left to say, everyone be quiet!" Laveck shouts over the roaring voices. In unison, everyone stops talking and all the attention is diverted to him. "Prom is on the Friday of the week you all return from your break, and you only have two weeks of May to register for your S.A.Ts. Now, for the big announcement, " He clears his throat, "We have a Poconos trip coming up in June. It's for the weekend and the cost is fifty dollars. It's a great resort and the weather will be perfect. There's a pool, all sport activities are available, breakfast, lunch, and dinner will be provided and it's a great way to spend the weekend with your friends and whatnot. Forms will be up after break so plan ahead if you're interested. And don't forget the contest for the Six Flags trip is next month as well." He smiles clapping his hands together as he scans all the happy faces surrounding him. "I think that's it," He nods widening his smile, "Have a great break. Stay safe and get plenty of rest!" With that, everyone stands, chanting and laughing because of their excitement and they all head for the door like cattle.