Sacrifice

2.Realization

It wasn't until did I realise that every body should have its tomb. I stood up
slowly feeling weakness in my whole body.Decisiveness filled me and I knew what i had to do further.As I started coming up to a dead body,a feeling of disgust came over me,and,not being able to hold it anymore,I abruptly turned back and brought my dinner up.I stood for a moment catching breath;my hands on the knees.Some bad inapropriate thoughts slipped through my mind at the moment,like "the woman cant be saved,just leave the body and keep on trotting",but at the same time there was someone who tried to persuead me not to place a burden of a sin upon the soul and bury her in a normal way,just to enable the body to decompose hidden from anyone, under ground.Then I straightened myself up,and turned my head to have another glance and make sure I was
emotionally ready for the funerals.Having not had any urge to vomit,I took a part of some fabrics,that laid 50 feets away from me and started dragging it.As I was doing it,heaps of different insects,that lived under the covering started to spread in different directions.I sprang away out of suddenness
"Couldn't find a better place to settle down,beasts?!" -I thought taking rapidly my textile back and crumpling it with anger in a messy pile.After throwing it onto the ground near the corp,I quickened my pace to make it all faster, not to be caught by another downpour and not let this experience be remembered for long in the future.I was short of a shovel and the nearest hardware store was a mile ahead or so,since the district I were at was a rough area and there hadn't been a great many of workers who were ready to be robbed at the least and let alone killed at work.That's why I prefered to broke some flat in to and take the flashlight out of a closet where i thought the hosts to keep unnecessary stuff,as we did,and then go down to the basement for my principal aim. Hardly anybody had had time to lock their flats before evacuation and everything kept by electricity was out of order,so it wasn't a big deal to go into the building of any block of flats.So did I,and having opened the first door,I stepped into the room,felling goose bumps to appear out of that creepy sense of loneliness,which filled the whole building.I looked around the flat,trying to find anything that can be useful for a normal living:everything was where it had to be,as if the hosts had tidied the room before setting off.I hesitated for a moment,but then got to search every of the three rooms.There were various magazines,lying in a closet,put into an accurate pile,and they ran about everything,from animal husbandry to love relationships.Bras and women's knickers lay in the same manner, and clothes,which hang on racks ,were all perfectly ironed too and seemed to have a light lilac aroma.But it wasn't possible,since girls had had to be evecuated first and foremost,and this perfume couldn't be felt for this long...
"Damn paranoid!"-I thought,and closed the door of the closet so hard,that it made a loud irritating noise.
In a quarter of an hour or so,I found a flashlight in a locker attached to the wall and then,I ran out of the flat without hesitation,went downstairs and entered the basement.Then,having put the light on ,I started searching again,getting deeper and deeper through those enomours piles of garbage left by former hosts.
-Ouch!-I cried feeling sharp pain in my arm.Some screw had ripped it and now it was bleeding,and this hurt was putting me out. I should be more careful in future not to spend time looking for medicine.It seemed to me that there was just the thing that I was trying to find behind one of the pile.My eyes didn't let me down.Saying rude words at the messy inhabitans of this place,I put some unnecessary things away to take out the shovel.Now I was done.
As I went back,I felt my head кружиться and I didn't know what was happening,but my vision was dim now and it began to be worse,like I was looking through thick fog.In a moment there was no former place and familiar things around.They were substituded by a dark room with no hint of light in it.It seemed to me that I saw a dream,and it was right,since the last moment I remember is me closing my eyes and getting into darkness.
"You've been judging people,having all those flaws they suffer from."
-I heard a low male voice,that excited me with its peculiarity and specific sound.To my surprise there was no hostility or scorn in it.I could hear softness, emotionlessness and attraction filling it. The whole situation didn't scare me,as if I felt my relative sitting next to me and talking about everyday topics that worried both us.The only difference lied in the fact that the man couldn't be seen.
"You've been mad about preceding others to get fame and let your name spread at least at your community and you've been thinking about yourself,not stopping saying this fateful "Me",while thinking about anything.-he made an emphasis on the last word and kept silent.I felt goose bumps rush through my body and inability to tell a word.
"You don't need to speak.I I read your face...and know your thoughts."-said the man.I could bet that he was smiling while saying this.
"What are you living for?"-the unknown asked me.I felt"nothing..now" slip through my mind and the phrase sounded in reality as an echo.
"Then,find a reason".As he was pronouncing it, the room started to fade and the sky slowly appeared instead of it.It wasn't until did I started falling down that I was stumbled.I couldn't get if the whole scene was real or it was just my fantasies...Why,too conscious ones.But I had this strange feeling in my whole body,The same as an austronaut has when getting away from the gravity.Falling into the boundness I couldn't think in a normal way.There were just extracts that appeared in my head and then faded,replacing themselves with other ones.I narrowed my eyes in the attempt to overcome irritation that was brought about by the headwind.I felt like ripping the air and it resisted,becoming tough enough to cause unpleasant feelings. But at any rate,I was given an opportunity to fly,even though it was either a realistic dream or coming end of my life,in which my brain tried hard not to believe.