Translation of Love

41

"Taeyoung," I say in a high and melodic voice.

"Yes my baby," he responds with a glowing smile as he holds my face.

"Hey, don't do that," I whine as he squishes my cheeks.

"Baby Sohee must have had chubby cheeks hmm? Just like now," he coos as he moves my face back and forth with his hands. I frown at him as he baby-talks to me, but it just heightens his ridiculousness.

"Aw my baby Sohee is so cute when she's mad. What a little peanut," his lips are pursed as he speaks now, his words harder to understand as he talks as though I'm a puppy.

I grab his wrists and pull his hands away from my face. He finally gives up, but a silly smile stays on his face. He looks so happy, a complete change from the cold and distant man he was months ago.

We end up lying down for a while in silence.

"Sohee?" He asks.

"Yeah?"

"What were your Christmases like? It must have been very different since it's a big deal for Westerners right?"

The feathery feelings of love that were making my heart sore moments ago vanish into thin air. I feel a giant lump form in my throat, cutting against me like a block of ice.

Someone knocks on the door. I sit up, my face still feeling numb.

"Taeyoung?" The door softly opens and to our surprise, his dad's face pokes in. "Can we talk, please?"

Taeyoung looks a bit worried as he nods his head. He hesitantly gets off the bed and turns to look at me once, as if he's still wondering about his question, but then he turns back and I'm left alone.

I go to the bathroom to wash my face, then I put on my pyjamas and crawl into the small bed. The room is dark, but my eyes remain open, staring at the ceiling above me. I'm not thinking about anything, instead my mind feels numb and I can hear a loud buzzing in my ears. I know this isn't good, I know my brain is purposely blocking thoughts about my mother to protect me, and yet I don't have the will to fix it. Instead, I've become obsessed with being around Taeyoung, since he takes all those memories away and replaces them with new ones. When I'm alone, I grow scared of my wandering mind.

After a while of staring at nothing, the door opens. I look towards the door and recognize Taeyoung's figure. He changes in the dark, and walks over to the bed. He sits on the edge of it for a while, too long. I begin to wonder what their chat was about. I sit-up slowly and put my hand on his shoulder. His body shakes from my touch.

"Oh, I thought you were asleep." His voice sounds distant.

"What's wrong?" I ask him. I turn so that I can get a better look at his face. Even in the darkness his eyes shine brightly.

"Oppa, why are you crying?" I scoot beside him abruptly as my worry grows.

"It's nothing," he laughs a bit before sniffling. I wrap my arms around his body and lay my chin on his shoulder.

"Tell me."

"I just wasn't expecting that I guess." I wait for him to continue. "My father and I have been on bad terms ever since I left to Seoul and went against his wishes of going into the medical field." He sniffles again and wipes his eyes with his arm.

"I'd just gotten used to him ignoring me. I thought he was going to yell at me. But he didn't." I feel his shoulders tremble a bit and hold onto him tighter.

"He cried. He started crying. I've never seen my father cry—" he hiccups. "He apologized. He said he witnessed his best friend go through the sudden death of his son, and it made him realize how precious time is. He's sorry for wasting this time on being mad at me."

"That's good that he apologized." I rub my hand in circles on his back. He just nods his head as he stares at the floor.

"I want to prove it to him, that I can live a good life doing what I love. I want to show him."

"And you will, I'm sure of it."

"You think so?" The look in his eyes is so vulnerable as he asks me. While he often puts up a tough exterior, he's really quite soft.

"Of course," I respond. Eventually, he lies down. I keep my arms around him as we drift off into sleep.

. . .

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Love,

Sooaura