Hard Knocks (Cashby & Kellic)

Chapter 10

....

Once Louis was done, I couldn't stop crying.  I couldn't believe that happened and he actually did that. I bit my lip and rubbed my eyes, I wasn't going to class for the rest of the day. I couldn't handle this, I couldn't handle being around Louis anymore. 

I made my way from the building trying to keep from attracting attention. I felt like he stole something from me and I had no clue how to ever feel like I could get it back again. 

"Dammit," I said to myself as I started crying again. I got out of the school and sat on the field and fell onto the ground, wincing a little as my ass hit the ground.  I didn't want to think about this anymore. I just wanted to die at this point. I groaned and looked up at the sky, trying my best to keep from completely falling apart.

"Why are you skipping class?" Alan asked coming out of nowhere.

"Stuff," I mumbled, wiping at my tears, I didn't need him seeing me cry.

He took a seat beside me, "Why are you crying?"

"Don't worry about it, you have enough on your plate."

"Don't worry about my plate, I'm worried about yours."  He looked at me. "Was it Fitz."

I rubbed at my eyes and nodded.

"What did he do?" He asked.

I took a deep breath and sat up. "Sophomore year, I made the mistake of writing Kellin Fitz in one of my notebooks and Fitz found out I had a crush on him. I found out, he liked me too. And things happened," I said slowly. "I lost my virginity to him and I thought I was in love with him but he was controlling and he only wanted me for sex and nothing more. And then around the end of the year I pretty much had a giant breakdown and I got diagnosed with psychosis and it made me realize a few things about myself. One of those being I didn't want to just keep sleeping with my English teacher and I tried to tell him a-at the beginning of the year but he would listen to me and he k-kept grabbing me and making me stay after class. And today I-I kept saying no and kept telling him to stop and he wouldn't stop he just kept going and I couldn't scream and the door was locked," I rambled.

"He raped you then? You have to go to the police Kellin."

I shook my head. "You don't get it, Alan. I'm crazy, they're never going to believe me."

"They aren't going to think you're crazy," Alan said rolling his eyes. I shook my head, Alan didn't get it.

"Al, I was in a mental hospital for hallucinations, they'll just say that I made it all up," I told him. "I'm legitimately crazy and they're not going to look past that."

"Get a rape kit done," Alan said. "If he just raped you, we can take you to the hospital now."

I shook my head and pulled my knees to my chest. "I can't, Alan. And please don't tell Vic. He stabbed Austin just for harassing you. Imagine what he'd do if I told him someone did that to me?"

"What would you do, Kells if this happened to Austin or me? Wouldn't you want us to go get checked just to make sure nothing is messed up?"

"I'd want you to get help."

"Exactly, now come on. We don't have to say anything to Vic or anyone else right now. I'll be with you every step of the way."

"Fine. But you're going with me," I mumbled.

"I know I am. It's part of being friends is like supporting you."

"Thank you," I said and stood up, wincing a little.

"No problem, now come on."

"Okay, okay," I said and followed him as we walked to the hospital. I was dreading this, I didn't know what all happened with a rape kit. I was scared and I didn't want them to judge me. I mean, guys didn't get raped. It wasn't heard of.  Maybe this was a bad idea. I'd get over this, wouldn't I?