non-binary → phan (on hold)

14. admission

i snatched my phone from troye. connor frowned. "don't act so upset about it, dan. one, it's pizza, and two, you're going no matter what. there is no way i'm letting you ditch out on phil now. i mean, he said yes!"

when my frown didn't disappear the two stood up, troye patting my shoulder. "connor and i will be at your place to give you a ride so you don't have to waste gas, since we set you up. some kid named tae is going to be coming with us because he has some sort of meeting at school that he has to go to, so we're dropping him off because his parents kinda can't."

i groaned and placed my head back into my arms, resting my head on the desk and closing my eyes, willing myself back to sleep. troye whispered something to connor about staying here with me to ensure i wouldn't sleep for too long.

connor took the bag of donuts from the desk. "get some rest, dan."

⌲

six hours later, i was sitting outside of the pizza restaurant downtown with connor, troye, and tae inside of what i assumed was troye's car. tae was next to me in the backseat, pressing his feet against my back as he attempted to shove me out of the car. he was giggling, but connor was rolling his eyes.

"dan, you have to get out of the damn car at some point." he pointed to the window of the restaurant. a familiar figure sat at the table next to the window. "look, he's already here. don't be rude. don't stand him up." 

i scoffed. "it technically wouldn't be me standing him up, since i'm not the one who asked him."

suddenly, tae's face was right next to my ear, his eyes narrowed. he leaned closer to my ear and whispered, "stop playing hard to get before i kick you in the butt."

with enough convincing from tae (which wasn't very much), i found my way into the pizza place, and smiling at phil. he smiled back, gesturing to the seat across from him. "i thought it'd be a bit rude if we took one of the larger and more comfortable areas when there's only two of us and plenty of hungry families looking for a table. i hope you like the drink i ordered for you, because i didn't want to keep that poor waiter too long."

"it's alright," i responded, taking a seat. "i'm not picky when it comes to drinks. he hasn't asked what we'd like to eat yet, has he? i'm not necessarily picky with my food, i just hate it when other people order for me when i'm literally sitting right across from them."

phil shook his head. "nope, he hasn't asked to take our food order yet." he smiled widely and took a sip of his drink. i looked down at my own and stirred the ice around with the straw. "i'm actually glad you asked me to come here with you, dan, because my family was seriously acting crazy. i had something i wanted to tell you, anyway."

i looked up from my drink. "hm?"

"uh, it's probably not a good idea to tell you in a pizza restaurant, but i've been you know-" phil cut himself off, furrowing his eyebrows and looking out the window. he took a deep breath. "i spent a while thinking about it, you know, trying to decide whether or not i truly felt the way i did. i spent even longer trying to tell you, and if i don't tell you know-"

this time, i was the one to cut phil off. "oh god, please don't tell me you have some type of deadly disease right now, phil. i really don't want to hear that right before i eat my food."

phil rolled his eyes. "i'm not dying, dan, i just wanted-"

"technically, we're all dying with every day we get older, so-"

"dan howell, you better shut up so that i can tell you that with all of the greasiness and cheese and sauce and doughy crust that i have in my heart right now for the pizza we're eating later, i wanted to tell you that i am in love with you. and that's not the hunger speaking." 

shocked, i just stared at him, my lips hanging loosely around the straw of my drink. phil leaned forward. "i am truly in love with you. you are the most beautiful person i've met and you're kind and you're caring and-and i just wanna hug and kiss you like all the time. call me weird all you want, but i just wanted to make sure that you knew that i love you and more than just in a platonic way.

"dan, i started falling for you the night that i saw you at that party when you were eating as much food as you wanted because you didn't give a crap about what the other people there thought of you. you were scared to correct me, but you did it anyway and i'm glad i built up the courage to ask you to dance with me - even though you didn't dance with me.

"i love the fact that you seem so hard-shelled but, in all reality, you really care so much about everyone and every thing. i love your dimple that you named derek and i love the way you care for your friends when they need it and i'm rambling and don't know what i'm saying because i didn't plan this out, but i love-"

"phil," i interrupted, laughing. "just shut up and kiss me."

without hesitation, he cupped my cheeks with his hands and kissed me. he kissed me and the world fell away. it was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. his thumbs caressed my cheeks as our breaths mingled. a few seconds later, although it seemed like forever, we pulled away.

the waiter cleared his throat. "so, um, pizza?"

⌲

author's note! hi my name is di and i have a basketball game tomOrrOWw, i pLaY pOiNt gUaRd, gOt sHoE gAmE

-di