non-binary → phan (on hold)

14. admission

have you ever been stuck awake at night, realizing that you only have two hours before you're supposed to wake up, but for some reason, sleep just isn't taking it's toll?

the night before i return to college for the first time since billie left, my eyes couldn't seem to close. make-up work and incomplete essays, that were for sure late, turned my brain to mush. terrible thoughts that i was going to fail university and how i really wanted to miss classes tomorrow kept my eyes peeled open. at two in the morning, i finally decided that i would have preferred if phil wasn't cleaning his house for visiting family, connor wasn't sleeping perfectly fine at his place, tae wasn't in serious trouble for being late to his first class and missing two of his mother's calls.

i wished even more than before that billie hadn't moved to america.

at seven in the morning, i was sitting at the back of one of my larger courses, trying my best to keep my eyes open while staring out of the window that was a few desk over. the campus outside of it had trees filled with bright lights and shining ornaments. i had almost forgot, up until that moment, that christmas was just around the corner, and that i had no plans whatsoever. maybe phil would let me celebrate with him and his family.

i placed my head on my arms, closing my eyes against the bright light that shined through the window. i hadn't planned on falling asleep, but dark peace of it consumed me anyway.

⌲

"dan? daniel james howell." 

i forced my eyes open. connor was in the desk in front of me, sitting backwards in the chair with his arms crossed against the back of it, clutching a paper bag in his hands. a platinum blonde boy with stitches on his left temple sat beside him, feet kicked up on the seat in front of him with his phone in one hand. troye looked up at dan and smiled. "nice to see you're awake."

connor handed me the bag. i frowned at him, rubbing the sleep from my eyes before taking the bag. "you made a new friend?"

"of course i did. i'm a pretty cool guy, troye is a pretty cool guy." he clicked his tongue. "i thought i'd bring you something nice since everything has been kinda whack lately. i hope you like donuts with a maple glaze. that's all they had left. were you havin' fun with that nap?"

i grunted in response, pulling one of the donuts from the bag. "i didn't mean to fall asleep, i just didn't get any sleep last night because of procrastination. i love it until i hate it. thanks for the donuts by the way."

"no problem."

"what time is it?" i asked around mouthful of donut.

troye shrugged. "oh, it's only one in the afternoon. meaning most of your classes are probably over by now. good luck with that."

i groaned. "great. more things to make-up."

connor flicked my elbow. "hey, don't be all danny downer! troye and i can help you finish some things up. you have to turn them in by yourself though, because you're an adult and you're supposed to show responsibility. such as knowing when to schedule a date for yourself."

"what do you mean by date?" my eyebrows knitted together in confusion. 

troye caught my attention by wiggling my phone through the air with a smirk. "you really need to set a password. i was surprised you didn't have one when connor told me how protective you are of your privacy." i opened my mouth to speak, but words couldn't seem to form on my tongue. "before you ask what i did, i literally only sent phil a text saying to meet you at that really good pizza place downtown at seven while connor tried to wake you up. oh, by the way, phil answered saying that he would love to- don't glare at me like that! it's was his idea!"