blue eyes ; daniel seavey (discontinued)

13

Alex's P.O.V

"Thank you so much for 4 million! Next time you see us, we'll be in L.A. We love you rhythmizers! Byee!"

We say happily before finishing our livestream.
"I can't believe this" I say with a huge smile plastered across my face.
"L.A? Or how far we've come?" Jacob says.

"Both. All of it. Look at us, just 9 months ago we were doubting ourselves thinking we could never make it, and now we're packed and ready to go to L.A with a massive and growing fan base, family, right behind us" I continue, astonished.
"We did it" Brook says with a smile as we all look at one another.

We all continued talking excitedly about all the things we could do in L.A.
"I am not living with you" I say sarcastically to Matt who acts hurt.
"Remember that time when Matt made a dirty gym sock cannon in 6th grade at a sleepover" Brook said laughing.
"Oh, remember that time in 5th grade when Matt made mouldy cheese perfume and sprayed it all around Alex's room" Jacob adds laughing causing me to shudder at the memory.

"Oh, remember that time when Matt did something smart and useful. Me neither" I say causing us all to laugh even harder as Matt puts a hand to his heart and acts upset.
"Remember when Rebecca was here" Brook says, her face lifting up into a disgusted expression.

Rebecca left 3 years ago. No one knows where, no one knows why, but boy was everyone over the moon, even her entourage was nice to us after she left and they seemed ecstatic and free.
As I'm about to say something else, our manager Kelly walked in.

Kelly is a cute little British lady with short blonde hair and is one of those extremely kind, helpful and bubbly people that are always energetic and enthusiastic but focused when they need to be and determined. A bit like Brook but Brook is just on another level of wild and crazy just like the rest of us. Kelly has been our manager for just a little over 6 months now and she is truly amazing.

"Hey guys!" she said, walking in with a huge grin plastered across her face simply lighting up the whole room.
"Now listen, I've got some good and bad news" she says as we all look across at one another confusedly then nod.
"So, we are not able to buy the house we wanted just yet" she says then squints preparing for our groans.
"So we're going to live on the streets?!" Matt yells, horrified causing us all to shake our heads and face palm.

"Yep, don't worry, you'll fit right in" I say smiling then patting his head as he pouts.
"So what's the good news?" I ask, half of me is intrigued and the other half is praying to God that it makes up for the bad news.

"Well, the managers and team behind another band, to be specific, a boy band, reached out to us. They offered a place at their house. Not only is it gonna be exciting for all of you but it's gonna be a fantastic opportunity for both our brands to grow." She explains with an excited grin plastered across her face.
"Cool" we all resound with huge grins, excitement building up even further.
"So what's the name of the band?" I ask with a smile.

"Why Don't We"

My breath hitches.
The words ring in my ear repeatedly. The memories of him immediately flood back into my body along with excruciating pain, my heart on the verge of giving out simply by hearing the name.
I'm snapped back to reality when Kelly calls my name.

"Are you okay sweetie?" She asks and I nod to which she receives a phone call and walks out before she can say anything else.

"Alex..." Brook trails of softly.
"Just tell her that you want to put it off" Jacob says softly.
"We'll wait longer and find somewhere else" Matt adds, treading lightly along with the others.

I look around at all of them, it felt like I was holding my heart in my hands yet still attempting to hold my head up high.
"No. This is our time. It's now or never and I'm not gonna ruin it for us" I say forcing a smile yet I was dreading inside.

You might be wondering why I haven't talked about him yet.

I can't even bear to say his name.
He got up and left, I was nothing but the dirt under his shoe. He put me through so much pain. For around the next 6 months after he had left, I was battling severe depression. I was caged up in my room all day and everyday with the curtains shut and the lights out. I wasn't eating at all and I was on medications and therapy.

Nothing was working. I wasn't me anymore, I wasn't the person that loved nature and being by the stars and the ocean, the person that wanted to live life to the fullest. I was the person that hated life.
And it was all because of him.

He had even blocked my number and all my socials so I wouldn't have any contact with him.
I switched therapists and joined a community group with people that were undergoing the same things. But it wasn't that change that helped me get better, I was still empty inside even though I put up an happy act to satisfy my parents and my best friends.

It was music.

I was enjoying it then more then ever and that really pulled me through. I got better and I'm grateful that I did otherwise I would've still have been trapped in a bubble of gloom because of him. I began trying to forget about him, of course I never did. But I was happy, I am happy.

I can never truly forget about him, he still holds a place it my heart be it good or bad. But in all honesty, it's both. My heart holds anger as well as love for him. But that's something I can't change.
I still have the necklace, I still wear it but no one ever acknowledges it because they know it's a hard subject for me.
Now, I'm gonna be living with him and his four band mates, and believe me when I say,

I'm not ready.

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