This Boy // z.m fanfic

Chapter 14 ~ Don't cry

I'm leaving, we're leaving.

Zayn and I are leaving.

I don't know how this came to be, but after Niall said he loved me, I lost my mind.

I went home, packed my things, then called Zayn and told him to meet me outside of our apartment building and go.

Anywhere, anywhere except here.

I can't stand to see anyone I used to love.

They all judge me.

What's worse that is the ones who aren't judging me are the ones who are hating me.

I can't deal with that, at all.

I had to go.

"Any Idea where we're going yet?" Zayn asks me.

"No." I whisper. "Actually, I thought maybe we could go to Rice City and stay at a hotel for a week or so." I suggest, still keeping my voice quiet.

"We?" He asks.

"Yes, we." I say. "I would want to have my boyfriend with me."

He coughs, as if he is choking. "Boyfriend?" He asks.

His questioning is starting to worry me.

"Are you deaf?" I ask him, sarcastically.

"Where did you get the idea that I was your boyfriend?" He asks, making my heart sink into my stomach.

"You kissed me like five times!" I argue, trying to hide the hole he has just burned through me.

"So that means we're dating!?" He asks, still keeping his eyes on the road.

"It sure as hell means something!" I shout as my voice cracks.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Kaera Lee Maxwell don't you dare cry.

The sting of tears burns my eyes, it seems like I have never stopped crying the past few months.

"I thought I mean't something to you." I whisper, a tear rolls down my cheek.

"I said I like you, isn't that enough?" Zayn asks.

"No, it's not because I distinctly remember you saying you can't lose me! That's something more than just I crush!" I sob.

"It was just something I said so you wouldn't kill yourself." He says, bluntly.

"Pull over." I say.

"What? No, Kaera it's raining." He refuses.

"Stop the damn car." I say.

"No."

"Stop the car! All this time I had faith in you. Hope. Hope that you would be more than what people warned me about, but I was wrong, and naive because clearly all you care about is yourself! So, do us both a favor, drop me off and forget I ever spoke your name!" I snap.

"I warned you myself, Kaera Lee. I told you would get hurt, just today I told you this and you still went along with it." He spoke.

"That's because I didn't know how I felt about you..." I mutter.

"And what's that Kaera?" He asks, annoyed.

"Love." I say.

Zayn's P.O.V

Love.

Kaera Lee loves me.

How the hell did that happen.

Just a couple weeks ago she was screaming that she never wanted to see me again, and now.. she loves me?

This makes no sense, no sense at all. 

I mean, yeah, i like her, i wouldn't have kissed her if i don't.. but, love? Love. 

She just is swept up in emotion right now, she doesn't love me, she can't love me. 

She hates me.

"That's not true." I say, finally breaking the painful silence.

"How would you know, you've never felt love for anyone but yourself." She says, wiping her tears away.

"Oh yeah? While you were busy judging me all these years, i'm surprised you don't know about my family." I say, making sure my voice is as cold as ice.

Shit, why did i mention that.

"What?" She asks.

"Nothing, forget i said anything."

"Fine. Keep secrets." She crosses her arms.

"Stop that!" I bark.

"Stop what?" She asks loudly.

"Stop fucking trying to make me feel guilty! I did nothing wrong, here! You did! You assumed that because we kissed a few times you think i'm ready to just jump into a relationship with you! Have you met me!? I'm fucking Zayn Malik, have you ever seen me go out on a date with any girl? NO! Because i hook up with them, and never speak to them again, that's what i do! I warned you! I warned you and still, with full knowledge of what could happen, you still fucking went for it! I tried to protect you, i put way too much effort into making sure you weren't hurt, because for some insane reason, i actually care about you! So don't your dare try and fucking blame me for this shit! This is your own damn fault!" I shout at her. I can feel the heat coming off me and i'm gripping the steering wheel so hard, my knuckles are white. My heart is beating faster than ever thought possible, and my breaths are heavy and fast. I am beyond pissed. 

"You're right." She whispers.

"Come again?" I ask, knowing exactly what she mean't.

"You're right, i did this to myself." She says, a bit louder.

"You're damn right." I snap.

This is not my fault.

Nor my problem.

She is weak, and that is beyond my control.

"I wish i was stronger." She breaks into sobs which makes my heart break in two. "Then i wouldn't have fallen for someone who doesn't even care." 

I do care, Kaera Lee. More than you'll ever undertand.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Let's just go home." She shrugs.

"Who will you go to?" I ask.

Don't go to Niall.

Dear god if it's Niall, i will murder that little blonde brat.

"My family, i'm going home." She says through her tears.

XXXXxxxxXxXxX

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-Maya