40/Lou

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Lou

 

The boys believed that just because I had my headphones on, I didn’t hear them. The thing was that I didn’t have any music playing—just so I could eavesdrop. It made it hard to hear with me singing, but I heard exactly what I needed to.

   The truth was, I was more than ready to take it to the next level with Blue. Anybody that had all but given up their life for me deserved more than what I was giving them. And it wasn’t like I held Blue up to some hero complex—I genuinely liked, no, loved, him.

   My teasing had been nothing but to gauge his reaction. He hadn’t so much said in words he loved me, but he said it in actions. I had learned a lot about him in the past month and a half; one of the main things being he didn’t play around with love. He still hadn’t trusted his mom enough to say it to her.

  I covered a pot of rice and gravy up on the stove. I pulled a fresh loaf of bread out of the oven, set it down on the cooling rack, and turned down the stove. The oven went off, and I left the kitchen. Blue was sitting on the floor, studying some notes as he tried to catch up on his work. He looked up at me, licking chocolate icing off the corner of his mouth.

   “Hey, gorgeous,” he greeted calmly before going back to his notes. “What do you know about balancin’ equations?”

   I looked down at his messy work before sitting down next to him. “I know that you need a clean sheet of paper.” I balled up his work and handed him a clean sheet from his notebook. “Now, what do you know about it?”

  “Nada,” he growled, glaring ahead. “It’s givin’ me a damn headache, too.”

   I rolled my eyes, scooting closer to him and looking at the problem. I tried to explain it by words, but his face told me he wasn’t following. I went to take the pen from his hand, but he pulled it back hard enough that I went tumbling into his lap. He smiled at me from my position on top of him. “I’d rather you teach me chemistry,” he whispered, his voice giving me chills.

  I swallowed, trying to remain focus. “I was tryin’ to,” I muttered, wanting to diffuse the situation.

  “You know what I mean.” He searched for my lips and found them. Okay, maybe we can take a small break, I thought, enjoying him.

  Our ‘small break’ ended up with us still making out thirty minutes later when Juan came through the door. The smile on his face was completely erased by the sight of me in his home, jumping away from Blue, who groaned in irritation and closed his eyes. “Pretend he’s not there, chica.”

   But I couldn’t do that. I pulled away from Blue with a sheepish look on my face. “We were studyin’ chemistry, and—“

   “Uh-huh. It would be best if you went home, Lou,” Juan said, his eyes narrowed.

   He hated me. He absolutely loathed me, and there was nothing I could do about it. No amount of cooking, gifts, good words, or patience would help me. Well, he might as well had been another name on the list because everybody had turned against me. Like it was my fault I had been kidnapped.

  Which, partially, it was. I was the one who had drug myself into the wrong side of town. But I hadn’t meant to do it. Honestly. I was just walking off steam and was too embarrassed and hurt to pass by Juan’s house. I was paying my price—the only people who enjoyed me were Blue and Dylan.

   I glared at him, transferring hurt into anger. “I think you should get over yourself, Juan. Like you’ve never made a mistake in your life!” Did I need to bring up the gangbanging he had done? The guns he had? The drugs he was on? “It wasn’t like I wanted Blue to come after me! It wasn’t like I meant to get kidnapped.”

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