Phan One Shots - jilliancares

The Three A's of College: Alcohol, Assumptions, and Avoidances

Summary: Dan loves a lot of things about college. The only thing he really doesn't like is his horrible roommate. (And when his best friend accidentally outs him to said horrible roommate, it becomes Dan's life mission to avoid him).

Word Count: 5.3k

(includes smut)

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Dan loved college. He loved almost everything about it, from the loud students traipsing past his dorms every day to the quiet ones studying in the middle of the night at the library. He loved his professors, loved the old ones that droned, whose classes constantly threatened to put Dan to sleep, and the young, energetic ones that spoke so fast Dan had trouble taking notes. He loved the parties and the students at the parties, the ones who were drunk out of their minds and slurring nonsensically and the quiet, sober ones along the walls, keeping careful watch over their careless friends. He loved the atmosphere, the air, the trees, the everything. Really, there was only one thing he didn't love.

Phil Lester could probably be found under "asshole" in the dictionary. He seemed perfectly nice to other people, but to Dan he was always on his worst behavior, and so Dan was every bit as rude back. It'd started when they'd first met and had only escalated from there, had gotten to the point where they could hardly see each other without scrounging around in their heads for an insult they'd never used before. And, okay, maybe the start of their feud had been technically more Dan's fault, but it wasn't like he'd been trying to pick a fight or anything. He just happened to be curious!

Dan had walked into his dorm that first day and looked around. It'd been obvious that his roommate had already shown up and staked a claim. He'd snagged the bed closest to the door, his sheets spread over it and one of his bags tossed carelessly on top, though Dan didn't mind—he liked being next to the window anyway. Their room hadn't been too large, as no dorm room was, but they were lucky enough to have their very own bathroom.

Before Dan had come to school, when he'd first been assigned his roommate, they'd found each other on Facebook and exchanged a few words. Phil had seemed nice enough, had offered to bring in his Xbox when Dan said he'd be bringing his TV, and Dan had been sure they'd make fast friends. Boy, was he wrong.

Dan had taken his time setting up his stuff and making his bed, half-heartedly hoping that his roommate would return from wherever he'd disappeared to soon so that they could have proper introductions. He'd checked out the bathroom (small, cramped, with much too thin walls) and even started putting away his clothes. All of this had been, of course, before a quiet ding had echoed through the room. Immediately alert, Dan had stood and spun to face Phil's pile of stuff—and yes, there, sitting atop his partially open bag was his cellphone.

Curiosity fueled Dan, and unable to help himself, not even really thinking about what he was doing, he crossed the room and picked up the device. All set? read the text at the top of the lock screen from some person named Martyn (with the sunglasses emoji beside his name). There were two texts below it, the first reading Hey you meet your roommate yet? and the second Stop ignoring me it's gay. Dan's eyes had widened and he'd swallowed uncomfortably.

Was that it? Phil was one of those people who might use gay as an insult? Or at least, his friend, this Martyn guy, did. And didn't that suggest that Phil did too? Or at least didn't mind it? Stupidly, Dan felt a little dizzy at that revelation. He was going to be living with this Phil guy. With a homophobe! Maybe he wasn't actively one, sneering and snarling at every gay person he met, but enough of one to be mildly grossed out or at least unsettled to be in the presence of one, much less sharing a room with one.

Already, Dan was glad of his choice to stay in the closet at this college. In high school he'd let a few choice people know about his preferences, and somehow the news had spread, had become known and he'd become that gay kid, the one that stupid boys found enjoyment in picking on, for some reason. Was Phil like one of those boys?