Stop

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Dan and Phil had been dating for nearly three months when Dan decided it was time to let Phil fuck him. They'd done other things, touching each other and such, but they'd never gotten so far as sex, and they'd never even been entirely naked in front of each other before.

He was excited (in more ways than one) for how the night was going to progress. He'd brought it up tentatively with Phil in the morning, who'd asked him if he was sure. Dan had convinced him that he was, and that was that. They made their plans, Dan would go over to Phil's flat, and they'd spend a long and romantic night together. Dan would lose his virginity and finally things wouldn't seem so foreign and scary to him.

Before going to Phil's flat, Dan took a long shower, convincing himself that the shaking in his legs was due to excitement. He took a longer shower than usual, for some reason a cold feeling prickling at the back of his neck, but he pushed it aside and finally finished getting ready.

It was normal to be nervous, he knew. He also knew that Phil was the best person that this could ever happen with, and so he had no reason to be anxious. He continued to ridicule himself for his nerves as he went to Phil's flat, convincing himself over and over that he was being dramatic and that it would feel good and Phil would take good care of him.

"Hey," Phil greeted softly, opening the door. He pulled Dan in by the waist, straight into a gentle kiss, and he worked his hand into Dan's hair, massaging his scalp and tugging at the strands.

"Bedroom?" Dan managed to mutter around the lump in his throat, and Phil pulled back, smiling at him. He kissed him once more on the lips, before intertwining their fingers together and leading them to his room. Dan had slept in this bed before, even fooled around in it a bit, but now he'd be having sex in it. His first time ever. Dan exhaled shakily.

It wasn't long before they'd managed to make it into a horizontal position, and it felt nice, lying on the bed with Phil on top of him. He was careful not to completely squish Dan, just to let enough of his weight rest on him for it to feel good, secure. One of his hands had snaked its way under Dan's shirt, running lightly over his belly, tracing the area around his nipple.

When Phil asked if he could take off his shirt, Dan nodded, because it was okay. It really was, they'd taken off their shirts together before and this was no different from usual. So Dan helped him tug off his shirt, and then Phil's in turn, until they could be pressed together again, chests warm against each other, Phil's big hands running comfortingly over his body, squeezing his shoulders, trailing down his spine, dipping into his pants...

Phil liked to suck on Dan's neck, and his nipples, and his stomach. He liked to get his mouth anywhere he could, really, and with his tongue and lips working lightly but determinedly over his body, Dan felt some of his nervousness dissipate.

When Phil started to tug off his pants, looking up to receive a nod from Dan, his anxiousness came back, but Phil continued to go slow, running his hands down Dan's legs, kissing above his boxers, below them. Phil was soon devoid of pants too, and they were so close to being naked together. Dan longed to feel their bodies pressed together, hot and sweaty and heavy.

Dan whined when Phil cupped his arousal though his underwear, pressing up against him. Everything continued to flow smoothly, with Dan's nerves flaring up, only to be shoved back into submission with sheer determination from Dan and gentle touches from Phil. Soon they were both wearing nothing at all, and Phil was just as beautiful as he'd always imagined him to be.

They felt so good pressed together, better than even Dan thought they would've, but the sensations were all dampened a little by his foreboding, knowing what was to come.

Phil was careful when he fingered him open. He went slowly and used a lot of lube, holding eye contact with Dan the whole time, which was both intimate and slightly embarrassing. Dan couldn't help remembering where exactly Phil's fingers were, but Phil didn't seem to mind, especially when he pressed further into Dan, finding something that made Dan's body jerk, his eyelids flutter, a gasp and a moan to tumble from his red lips, raw from biting them.

Soon Phil was withdrawing his fingers, Dan whimpering at the sudden feeling of emptiness, complimented with a chill, but then Phil was slicking up his cock with even more lube, and he was leaning over Dan. Phil's hair was falling around his face, and he looked beautiful, truly, and Dan tried to concentrate on that. Not on what was about to happen lower down on his body. Oh god he tried not to think about it, but how could he just forget? His hands wouldn't stop shaking, and so he planted them firmly on Phil's shoulders, holding him closer.

Dan felt like his chest was contracting, like he was being squeezed tightly together with how anxious and scared he felt. Why did he feel so scared? Phil hadn't hurt him yet, he'd provided nothing but pleasure, and Dan had nothing to be afraid of. So why did his chest hurt so bad? Why was he shaking with how nervous he felt? Why was Phil looking at him like that?

"Are you okay, Dan?" he asked, and Dan nodded, because he was. Or he should be, at least. This was only Phil, after all.

"Hey," Phil said softly, leaning back slightly. One of his hands came up to cup Dan's face, and his thumb brushed over Dan's lip. "Are you really okay?"

"Yes," Dan said quietly. Why was he lying, anyway? Phil would understand if he wanted to stop, right? Oh god, would he? Did anyone ever stop after they'd gotten this far? Dan was already stretched, Phil was already all lubed up and they were both as hard as could be. Who in their right mind would stop now? It was too late!

"Are you ready then?" Phil questioned, and Dan's mouth felt too thick to speak. His tongue was too heavy, his lips pressed tightly together on their own accord. Dan nodded minutely. He just wanted to get it over with. Chances were it wouldn't even hurt, Phil was so careful, but no matter what he told himself he couldn't make himself feel any better. His chest was balling up inside of him, tighter and tighter and his heart had found a home in his throat. He couldn't breathe!

Phil pulled away. He climbed up to Dan's side and kissed him slowly behind the ear, which he breathed into, "you know we can stop, right?"

"W-why would we?" Dan squeaked. He hadn't noticed how tightly his legs had been locked, stiffly held against the bed. His hands were balled into fists.

"Because maybe it's scary and nerve-wracking when you haven't done it before. Maybe it's something to not be ashamed of when you want to stop. We shouldn't force it, Dan. If you don't feel ready, we can just stop." With this Phil had pulled away, still sitting by his side, but rubbing his hands over his stomach comfortingly, trailing his fingers up and down. His eyes were filled with such love and understanding, and Dan could hardly help the fact that his were tearing up.

Dan scrambled backward on the bed, hugging his knees to his chest and resting his head on top. He sniffed loudly. "I really wanted to but..." But what? He was too scared? Too pathetic?

"That's okay, Dan," Phil said, and he scooted behind Dan, his skilled fingers already working at the tenseness in his back, massaging the knots out of his muscles and making him relax.

"I'm sorry," Dan muttered into his leg.

"Don't be," Phil said immediately, and then he stood up off the bed, and extended a hand to Dan. "Besides, I have another first we can do."

Dan had almost forgotten that they were completely naked, and he took Phil's hand and stood from the bed, blushing at their similar states. Phil smiled warmly at him. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, and Dan shivered. He barely had time to bask in his boyfriend's words before he was being tugged gently to the bathroom, and the shower was being turned on.

"We can still shower together for the first time," Phil said with a soft smile, before hopping onto the sink. He pulled Dan in between his legs, and just held him in his arms, chin resting on Dan's shoulder.

When the water was warm, they stepped into the flow together, and they helped wash each other's bodies. Phil shampooed his hair, mussing it up and styling it with soap, giggling at the horrible things he was doing to Dan's hair. In retaliation, Dan threw a loofa at him, which Phil caught, and fashioned around Dan's ear with the rope. He kissed Dan then, and Dan laughed into his mouth.

"I don't think I'm going to take a shower alone ever again," Dan declared, and Phil pulled him closer. They stood wrapped in each others arms until the warm flow of the water for a while, with Phil occasionally dragging his nails lightly against Dan's back.

"Let's take another one tonght," Phil suggested decisively. Dan was most certainly not opposed.

Phan One Shots - jilliancaresWhere stories live. Discover now