You are My Home

Chapter 7

It was dawn when finally Severus returned back with Cho tailing behind him. They were waiting for the morning dusk flower to finally shown after the reflection of the early sun. The most difficult ingredient he must find that he must pluck the flower right when the early sun shone on it. If he failed to do so, his potion would be able to complete. And only a true potion master that could identify the flower and when to pick it.

They were very exhausted for whole night in the dark forest that Cho directly placed her basket of ingredients in the basement, neatly in the ingredient cupboard and walked to her room to get some sleep. Severus couldn't wait to see his son that his first stop was no longer to basement as many would've guessed. His first stop was his bedroom. He was full of sweat and dirt for all the rummage he had done. But he wasn't planning to hold his baby. Just a simple view of his son and Hermione would be suffice for now.

He opened his bedroom door and found his Hermione was still sleeping in their bed. He couldn't help but notice how grown she was. Her hair was scattered on the pillow, like a hallow to her face. He indeed felt that he was the luckiest man in the world. How could a beautiful girl, brightest witch of the age, most compassionate person be in love with a former death eater. A person who stood still when muggle born were massacred in front of his own eyes. He could still hear their calling to him, asking for help, although they were not all killed by his own hands, but he was still at fault. And there were some that actually killed by him. By his killing curses, his avada kedavra. 

He hid behind his works as a spy but nobody knew his sin more than himself. And he was quite frank to Hermione about it. 

Few years ago after the order meeting...

Everybody was leaving the dining room while Severus held Hermione's hand on his leg and said, "I have something to say to you."

All eyes were immediately to them again, just a meeting before, it was Hermione that had spoken similar message, although in a more frontal atmosphere.

They were left alone and Remus as the last person walked out, closed the door behind him.

"I've had some thinking about us," he said calmly.

They were both still sitting where they were. As previously they committed to sit next to each other and held hands along the meeting. A gesture that saying 'we're together now' to the whole order. And nobody judged them or felt awkward about it. They were both consenting adult. And most of Hermione's friends knew that when the witch had made up her mind, nothing could change her mind.

"Are you backing out?" she tried to hide her fear but Severus as death eater could smell fear from far, and she was failing in hiding it now.

"I am not," he answered firmly with his sexy as sin voice. "But there are things you must know about me, Hermione. I am not proud of it. But I had done it nonetheless. And I think it's only fair that you make your decision after you hear all of it."

She lifted her eyes to him, giving her other hand to cup his hand that was holding hers on her lap. She leaned to him, close enough to whisper, "I have imagined you've done lots of things that can make you deserve to be in Azkaban. But I also sure that you've done all of it because you have to. Not because you want to."

"Want to... or ... have to..." he drawled, "no one can prove it. They merely just words."

"I don't need proof. I just need your words." She said again.

"I've killed muggle borns. I've witnessed muggle born massacres and didn't do anything about it."

She turned her face away from him. Tears were falling down. She always thought that she could let those went away. She kept on telling herself, it wasn't his fault. He had to do it. But hearing his confession was not something easy for her. She could feel the pain. She could feel the anger as well.

"And if you think, it's the worse, then you're wrong, Hermione."

She closed her eyes, trying hard to block out his words.

"There was one time. The Dark Lord destroyed a village. He brought with him the most ruthless death eaters you could imagine, even worse than Bella. They gathered the children, some was only 11 year olds, and some was older. There was this girl, she was beautiful. She barely sixteen, I guessed. Dolohov lusted over her. And the Dark Lord commanded him to rape her in front of the others."

"Stop..." she whispered. Her hands moved from him.

"It didn't stop there. She screamed for help, but all was laughing. One by one, they raped her. And after that, the Dark Lord commanded me..."

"STOP!!!" she screamed at him.

A single tear dropped to his cheek, his voice was broken, "I raped her too, Hermione. And it didn't stop there."

She launched at him immediately, her hands holding close to his nape, and whispered to his ear, "Please, stop, Severus. I know what you're doing. I still love you. Even more than ever."

"No, you couldn't..." he said hoarsely.

She pulled her self while still sitting on his lap, her right hand moved to cup his cheek, wiped his tear, "You blamed yourself all this time, haven't you? Her image is haunting you, isn't it?"

A single tear fell again from him. 

"She's not the only one, Hermione."

"How many?"

"Two."

She nodded to him and rested her forehead to his, "Let me obliviate you."

He didn't get a chance to say anything, she was prepared with her wand already, and in few seconds only, he didn't remember any of that.

She didn't obliviate him completely, but it was enough that he still had the recollection that the Dark Lord wouldn't suspicious on him but it wasn't too detail that it would torture him.

"Why are you sitting on my lap?" he asked.

She smiled warmly, "We were making out."

He took a second and realized something, "Did you just..."

"I don't want to lie to you Severus. But I can't tell you the truth. Not now anyway. Do you trust me enough to let it go?"

He looked at her deeply and said, "Absolutely."

Behind the door, the same pile of people with ears on the door sighed. As the brightest witch and most talented wizard, they were careless not to muffle the room for the second time which gave privilege to Sirius, Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Ginny, Seamus and Tonks to listen their conversation. 

Ron was not a fan to their new relationship. So was Sirius, Seamus, Dean, Cho and the others, unlike Harry, Ginny and Tonks that understood Severus' attraction to Hermione or Fred, George, Albus, Minerva, Remus and Mr. & Mrs. Weasley who thought that they were mature enough to make their own decision, whatever that was. But after hearing this conversation, Ron felt another feeling toward his former potion professor. Unlike before, he only felt anger and resentment to him, maybe a bit of pity regarding his feeling to Harry's mom. Now, he felt that Severus Snape was in fact as human as he was. And his life was full of ugly conditions, that he started to full admiration to that old bat dungeon. 

"I'm glad, he has Hermione now." He whispered to his eavesdroppers friends. 

"Me too," said Sirius and Seamus. 

"Well, I'm glad that you all realized it now." said Harry with a smile before suddenly the earth seemed to fall in the axis that they all fell down to the floor.

When they lifted their head, they saw the scary potion professor was standing by the door looking at them in detested expression.

Hermione couldn't help but laugh at her friends who were getting up and stood aside to make way for the professor.

"And you're laughing at them, instead getting angry that they were eavesdropping us." Sneered Severus before walking to the door.

Hermione stopped her laugh and said, "Wait!"

She walked to him and grabbed his arm, making him turned to her. She kissed his lips in front of the others that some were making sound, "awww..."

Severus turned to the eavesdroppers and said, "dunderheads," before he finally left.